Tears of yesterday
by kajsavi
Summary: Tony and Ziva take on the task to take care of Emma Moore after her father is brutally murdered. She seems normal and all, but looks can be deceiving, right? And what do they do when they realize that the murderer is after her too?
1. When I come around

**Hello reader, welcome to this newer, better and significantly nicer version of my story **_**Change**_**. It's basically the same story, with some changed details, some changed names, etc. I worked quite hard on this now, - well, harder than on the original version – and I hope you'll enjoy it. Also, some of you may notice that I changed the title - well, obviously. Yeah, I really like _Poets of the Fall_.  
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**So, I will be updating every two weeks, but it will be longer between the first and second chapter because I just want to get it up. I don't know how long the wait will be, but a couple of weeks; I'll try to rush it.**

**Also, every chapter will be named by a song I'm into at the moment, so if you review the chapter, tell me if you know the band of the song!  
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**Disclaimer: I owe nothing.  
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**Thanks for reading!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: When I come around<strong>

"Grab your gear, we've got a dead marine" The boss slid into the bull pen and to his desk to grab his badge and gun, and the three heads of Gibbs' team jerked up. They all stood up quickly and did as they were told.

It's now two years ago since the team rescued Ziva from Somalia, and the relationship between Tony and Ziva had changed. They were dating, for five months now. They had confessed their feelings for each other in front of Gibbs, by mistake of course, but he only had given them a hard head slap (he went a little easier on Ziva), and told them they had his blessing; something that had relieved Tony exceptionally. Abby's reaction to the news had been fairly predictable; she had said, "What took you so long?", and given them each a tight hug filled with gratitude for them _finally_ coming to their senses. Everything had gone well for them, but they still lived in separate apartments. Ziva felt that she needed her personal place where she always could go to whenever she needed it; but even thought she said that, she spent almost all her time at Tony's place.

So, Tony – being very determined on the subject - had tried to get her to move in with him for two months, and she had given in at last. She had promised that her things could be found in his apartment as soon as she got a day off to move; which Tony had made sure was in the next couple of weeks.

In the elevator Tony asked about the case, as he always does, but he was feeling extra cheery due to Ziva's day off the very next week. Gibbs hadn't had his morning coffee yet, so he didn't answer, but gave the car keys to Ziva to get Tony to stop talking, and as Gibbs had expected; Tony's face turned white when he saw which of the three who received the keys and stopped talking. If they didn't know better, they'd think that Gibbs had almost smiled.

With Ziva at the wheel, it was never a long drive to anywhere. They reached the crime scene and began to gather evidence, take photographs and speculating. The dead man – Eric Moore – had been tied to an armchair with a tick rope in the living room, which was now a big mess – clear signs of a struggle. The maid had found him after she had come into work, and she had passed out after she called 911. It had been quite a short call. Now she was being questioned by McGee on the outside of the house.

Tony didn't know the man's name yet. He took some pictures from an – probably unnecessary – angle; he was lying on his back on the rug, taking pictures of the dead man's chin. "Who's our guy?" He asked Ziva, who was on all fours, checking for more footprints. She had found one, but not more than that.

"I do not know, Tony. Stop asking." Ziva replied, but she smiled. These day's she usually didn't respond to Tony's annoying moments with a snort or a mocking tone, she just smiled or kicked him in the shins to get him quiet. Or kissed him. Yeah, that worked too.

Tony clicked with his camera when the front door was opened and a teenage girl walked in. She was a very pretty girl with curves, long deeply red hair and dark eyes. She was wearing a pair of black jeans she had ripped holes into by herself, and a red top. She was also wearing a pair of, brand new, lilac Converses, and a leather jacket was swung over her arm. She stared at them in fright before her eyes went to the armchair. They half expected her to let out a shriek or something, since she really looked like she had expected something bad. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Gibbs, who had too seen her come, went to her side and said, "You can't be here, it's a crime scene."

Her eyes went from the armchair up to Gibbs' face, her eyes were a mix of disbelief of what was in the armchair in front of her, and fright. "I live here." She said, her voice was shaking, and then she pointed at the armchair. "And that's my dad."

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><p>Tony and Ziva stood by the window in the room of observation and watched the young girl on the other side glass. She was sitting at the table, rocking back and forth restlessly. After a moment she put her head in her hands and her shoulders were shaking a little. After another moment she raised her head a bit, and wiped away her tears with her shirt sleeve. She hadn't cried much; not as much as a daughter should do when her father had died.<p>

The girl looked around the room and sighed a deep sigh. She looked longingly at the door, like she hoped that it would be opened and that she could escape away from the unpleasant, dark room. She had long ago spotted the cameras that were used to record interrogations, so she knew someone was watching her. She had also many times stared intensely at the mirror that was in on the opposite wall.

Ziva was touched by this girl; she was handling her father's death so good. Or maybe she was handling it badly, not crying or anything. But she wasn't screaming and she wasn't beating them or anything like that. She had not questioned them when they said they had to bring her to the NCIS headquarters, she actually hadn't said anything since they got to know that the dead man was her father. "I feel so sorry for her."

Tony looked at her, and then he put his arm around her and kissed her temple. He did not really know what to say, but he said "I can see that she'll get through it."

Ziva's lips curled up at that. It wasn't a big consolation, but she took everything she could get, and that was enough for the moment being. The next second Gibbs walked into observation, and they jumped apart. Gibbs had asked them to keep it out of the office, and quite honestly; it was working quite well. When he was around. He handed Ziva a folder possibly containing the information they had on Commander Eric Moore, and he said. "Ziva, take this one."

Ziva looked confused, but took the order and followed it. She hurried into observation, to let Emma know she didn't have to be alone in the room anymore. She looked down in the file and looked for the daughters' name, and addressed the girl with a soft voice "Emma Moore?"

She nodded as an answer, not looking at the Ziva, but her hands that she had placed awkwardly at the table. Emma really wasn't in the mood to look Ziva in the eye and see all the pity. She didn't need it, it wouldn't get her father back, and it wouldn't help her get through her loss either. But despite herself, she tilted her head up when Ziva had sat down, and looked her in the eyes. She didn't see any pity, only comforting warmth, and instantly felt better about the agent.

"I am Agent Ziva David, and I will ask you a few questions."

Once again Emma nodded, but this time her eyes kept looking at Ziva. She noticed that the warmth in them made her feel better. She also felt better, now that a woman was going to question her. She didn't actually know why, but she felt as a weight was lift from her shoulders. Maybe she hoped for some understanding if it was a woman? "Okay."

"You father – Commander Eric Moore – did he have any enemies?"

Emma flinched at the question. She had known it was coming, but when it came she wasn't sure what to answer. She took a deep breath, and decided to tell the truth. "Yes. A few. I don't know their names, or how they look but dad got some death threats through email. I know because I heard him arguing on the-" she took a deep breath. She knew her voice was shaking. "—on the phone with someone. About it."

"Any idea to why he got these emails?" Ziva asked, as she watched Emma shaking her head and wiping her eyes, even though no tears had escaped since Ziva had entered the room. She asked some other questions, trying to keep it as painless as she could for Emma, and she got straight answers in return. Emma's mother had died when she was ten years old, and she had no other close relatives. Ziva subconsciously flashbacked to the Tanner case, under her first year at NCIS.

When Ziva was done she stood up and left interrogation, hurried into observation to face Gibbs and Tony. Gibbs looked at her and said, "I'm calling in social services, she has to stay somewhere." He had probably just decided that, because he was pulling out his phone while he spoke.

Ziva didn't even consider before she said, "I am taking her! She can stay with me."

Gibbs was very surprised, and his voice was filled with that emotion when he asked. "Ziva, are you sure?"

Tony looked at her and said – not caring that his usually angry boss was there -, "Aren't you forgetting something'? If she moves in with you it's gonna take longer for you to move in with me!"

Ziva looked from one man to the other, her eyes filled with determination, and she said "I can handle her; she's fourteen. And Tony, is it really so important that I move in now? Cannot we just wait a _little_ longer?" The last part was almost pleading, because she _needed_ to take in the girl. She absolutely couldn't let Gibbs call for someone from the Social Services to take Emma.

Gibbs nodded, to show that he approved of her taking Emma, and walked out from observation because he had the feeling that he didn't need to be there for the coming talk between his agents. He went into interrogation to enlighten Emma.

He entered and she looked at him and ran her fingers through her curly hair nervously. "I've told you everything I know."

"Yeah, I know." Gibbs answered and sat down in the same chair Ziva just had been sitting in. "You need somewhere to stay." After all, they needed Emma's approval too, before they decided anything. She was fourteen; she had the right so say what she thought.

"I guess it'll be foster home, or whatever, for me?" she said, but looked at him with hope in her eyes. Hope for not having to stay with a stranger.

"No, you can stay with Ziva, if you want to. She offered." He replied, and saw as her eyes lighted up a little, not much, but definitely better than they had been "But only until we have found your father's killer, they we'll see what we can do."

"Yeah, of course." She said. _Only until the killer was caught._ "Er… Okay, yes. I'd love to stay with her."

Gibbs smiled a little, stood up, and walked out from the small room. His legs helped him to MTAC to talk to the director about the case, and about Emma.

Meanwhile Tony and Ziva still were talking about their situation.

"Maybe it is so important to me." Tony said, looking her in the eyes to show her that he was serious about this, and that she wasn't going to come away with it.

"Cannot it wait?" she asked again. She really didn't see the thing with this argument; it was only going to be for a short while anyway. _Was_ this even an argument? She was screaming at her head to come up with a solution, and before she knew it she was smiling and saying, "Move in with me. I mean, it is not like you are going to sleep in the guestroom. We will have more than enough space and we will be fine."

He smiled back at her and nodded, happy with her suggestion. "Best idea today." He kissed her to show her how happy he was, and she was as happy as he was. But after a while she pulled away and asked,

"Do you think it is going to be okay for Emma? You know, having you in the same apartment. She does not even know your name."

Tony laughed "And she barely knows yours," he answered and looked through the glass. She was still just sitting, but she wasn't halfway to crying anymore, in fact; she was almost smiling, probably happy that she was going to live with _normal_ people.

Ziva just laughed, before exiting the room and walking into interrogation to get Emma.

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><p>In the car to Emma's old - no; wrecked -, home there was only silence. Tony had stayed at the base to work at the case so Ziva and Emma had gone alone. Emma didn't feel like talking anymore to anyone, even though it was <em>Ziva, <em>who was kind enough to take care of her. But outside her house, she said with a forced tone, "I can go alone; I'll just pack some clothes and other stuff. Won't even take 30 minutes."

"All right."

Emma stepped out of the car and walked slowly to the door. She reached after her keys in her pocket to open the door. Her hand was shaking as she put the key in the lock and turned it around. The familiar 'click' came, and she opened the door slightly. She peeked inside; it looked messier than it had when she had come there a couple of hours earlier. Probably because the investigators had been there to collect evidence and they hadn't been very careful. She smiled pleased smile when she imagined the maid's face when she'd see this; she'd never liked the maid anyway.

But then it hit her, the maid wasn't going to come. Her father was dead, and she was too young to live alone, so who would the maid clean for? Emma sighed once more, to remind herself for the new life she had been violently pushed into under just a few hours. She went inside and closed the door with a loud 'bam' for effect. She felt a little better after she'd shown her anger.

She went upstairs to the one and only room that wasn't totally ruined. Her own room. Well yes, most of her clothes were on the floor, but she didn't really mind, considering the circumstances. Her room was very nice, she had painted the walls lightly green with her dad when she was twelve, it had been before all the crap began. Her furniture was all a matching dark brown color. She had a laptop on the desk in the corner and her bed was unmade. Her bookshelf from IKEA, was filled with all kinds of titles. She liked to read.

Emma decided that she needed a suitcase, so she went to search after one to put her things in, when she heard a noise from downstairs. Thousands of possibilities went through her head and she went from sad to scared in only a few seconds. "Ziva?" she asked out loud.

Emma had never been the kind of person to be easily startled, but since she had seen her murdered father in his favorite armchair downstairs, she certainly felt uneasy.

No one answered from downstairs, so she kept on looking for the suitcase and tried to forget the noise. When she had finally found it she had totally forgotten to be scared, and walked back to her room dragging the suitcase behind her. She heard something again, and she couldn't help but think that it sounded like a clock. Tick tock, tick tock.

And the second she realized that she might be right, she dropped the suitcase, ran down the stairs and out the door out to the car. Ziva was leaning onto the side of the car, with her head facing the sky; taking in the sun. She heard Emma running and only had time to ask "What's going on?" when the sight came that would forever haunt Emma's dreams.

Her house exploded into a million pieces that would be impossible to put back into place.

She stood there stunned as the tears started to fall. Finally the real tears she hadn't let out earlier came running down her cheek, and she couldn't help it. She shut the world out so the only thing she could see was the house burning. She didn't even notice when Ziva came hurriedly to her side, she didn't hear when she called 911 and the NCIS, she didn't feel when Ziva put her arms around her and brought her into a motherly embrace, she didn't even know it when she buried her face in Ziva's shoulder as she cried.

She came back to reality when she heard the sirens from different cars. She answered the questions she was asked and she let the paramedics look at her. She let Ziva put her in the car like a little child, and the only thing she really _heard_ from all that was when Gibbs spoke out the words,

"They're after her now."

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><p><strong>Leave a review to tell me what you think.<strong>


	2. Arms wide open

**Chapter 2: Arms wide open**

Emma leaned her head against the window as she cried. Her tears didn't seem to stop, and how much she even tried to make it end, it didn't. Her shirt sleeves were soaked and her eyes were hurting from all her tears. The little makeup she had, was smeared and she looked like a wreck. She felt helplessly stupid and weak, and she felt worthless from crying in front of strangers, but when she cried on Ziva's shoulder, and Ziva had held her, it had felt natural, normal. Like it was going to be okay. But it wasn't, she told herself. Her father had made someone deadly mad and now he was dead because of that, and she was in danger.

She closed her eyes and sobbed a few times, before closing her eyes; hoping for something good to happen to her.

Outside the car, the investigators were once again gathering evidence and photographing from the same place as earlier. Though it was significantly worse now. Gibbs was asking Ziva – who was pretty shaken up, but no showing it - for her statement when Tony arrived at the scene. He ran up to Ziva and embraced her in a tight, protecting hug. Gibbs walked off to look at the house remains and hopefully find something to help them find the one who did this.

"Are you okay?" Tony asked as he released Ziva and looked at her, still holding her upper arms. He had been so late to come because Gibbs had told him not to, for the simple reason that he was needed at NCIS, but Gibbs had also allowed him to come when he was done with checking the commanders bank records and phone calls. "What happened?"

Ziva offered him a smile, to calm him down, "I am fine, you do not need to worry about me," her eyes moved to the car and to the window where Emma's head was resting "I do not know anything else than that Emma went into the house and she was there for about ten minutes before she ran outside. But she did tell Gibbs that she heard something from downstairs, but I didn't see anyone or _anything_ entering the house."

Tony looked at the remains of the house, and he noticed Gibbs talking to some walk-by witnesses with a notebook in front of him, before replying "You only saw the front door, he could've taken the back door," He released his grip on her arms. "How's Emma?"

Ziva shook her head as she said "She will not talk to me, I have tried. She answered some of the questions Gibbs asked, but she ignores everyone else." She got a sad look on her face as she added, "I think she gets it now, that her father is dead and that he will never come back. You saw how little she cried before, but since the explosion she has been crying almost constantly."

Tony nodded, sadly understanding what she meant, "I'll just go and get some information, and then we'll take her to you apartment." He pulled her close again, because she looked like she also needed some comfort, and kissed her and said "I love you, you know that right?"

"It is not something I will easily forget. And I love you too." she said, and smiled, successfully comforted. They both turned around to walk in different directions, Ziva to the car, Tony to Gibbs.

As Tony reached Gibbs he asked "Anything new?"

"The explosion was made by a professional; he left no trace or clue. Thank God Emma heard the ticking, otherwise she'd be dead now." He looked up at Tony, "She can never be left alone; she always has to be under protection. She must get through this alive, and if that means that you and Ziva have to be off work; then do it." he took a breath before continuing "Tell her nothing about the case, she doesn't need to be worried. And if she by any chance would tell you or Ziva anything about the Commander that could help, inform me instantly. And take care of her. But I know Ziva has got that covered."

Tony only nodded, taking in the words of his Boss. That was a lot to remember. He looked around, at all the people who were working their butts off; interns who were doing every small assignment they got from their superior, and older investigators who were going through the evidence they had found. He shot a look at the used-to-be house, and then at the car with Emma in it. He walked to it and sat down in the driver's seat, because Ziva already sat in passenger's seat. He was more than surprised about this, but then he noticed the sleeping Emma in the back seat and understood that it maybe wasn't so good to be driving like a maniac with a broken and sleeping fourteen-year-old in the back.

They didn't talk much under the car ride, but half way to Ziva's apartment, Ziva reached out to take his hand. She didn't look him in the eye; she just held his hand and felt a little better. When in Mossad, she had seen a lot like that explosion. Suicide and homicide bombers. This wasn't the first time she saw someone broken up about their lost family, and this got to her as much as it did, because Ziva had genuinely hoped she'd be able to avoid that in the US, but obviously the ghost of her past was there to haunt her.

She didn't even see herself in Emma, so why did this get to her?

She didn't know, but she still searched some consolation, which she found by holding the hand of the man she loved.

When they stopped outside Ziva's apartment building they both looked back at Emma, who was still sleeping. Ziva didn't want to wake her, because she knew it would be hard for Emma to get any sleep in the upcoming days, but Tony didn't even think it was a problem, he just went to the backseat door, opened it and carefully pulled Emma out. He took the stairs because he knew that he wasn't going to fit in the elevator when he was carrying her. Ziva did take the elevator, so she could open the door to him.

Good for Tony, Emma didn't weight so much, so it went easy. He reached the right floor without any bigger problems and Ziva unlocked the door for him. She gestured for him to follow her and she went to the guestroom open the door for them too. Tony laid Emma down on the big bed, and Ziva covered her with the softest and nicest blanket she had available. She stroke Emma's cheek, her heart breaking because she looked so peaceful. The sleeping version of Emma probably didn't even know that her dad had died, and that she was alone in the world. Ziva wanted her to stay that way. But she knew things like these wouldn't last, so she turned around to walk out of the room, so she wouldn't be the one to wake Emma up. She brushed past Tony, who followed her with his eyes. He felt sad for the teenager too, but he could see on Ziva's face that it was worse for her. Tony sneaked a look at the girl, and there she was. Happily sleeping.

He left the room and closed the door.

"You think she'll be fine?" Tony asked as they sat at the kitchen table, a few hours later. Tony was drinking coffee from a blue cup, and Ziva was nursing a cup of green tea. "D'you think shell move on?"

"It is only the first day yet. I think she will be just fine in a month or so." she replied, and stared into the vaguely green liquid in her cup. "But we cannot expect her to recover so soon, she just lost her father and that hurts. She will need time." _And love_, she wanted to add.

Tony nodded even though she wasn't looking at him. He wondered what she really was thinking.

After a while in silence, Ziva left her cup of untouched tea and stood up to go and check on Emma, which they had done once every half hour. For no particular reason, Ziva just wanted to make sure she was okay; that she wasn't rolling around in the bed in nightmares or that she had fallen onto the floor and somehow not waken up to it. She opened the door quietly, to meet an empty bed. She had a small heart attack as she looked around in the room. She found Emma sitting at the window; she was deep in thought, but came back to reality when she heard the footsteps coming towards her. She turned around and looked into Ziva's eyes.

"How are you?" Ziva asked quietly. She didn't expect a happy answer, but she had expected an answer. But Emma just stayed quiet, her eyes dropping to the floor as she shook her head and turned back to the window. The world outside was turning darker and darker by the minute, but soon it would be light all the time; as soon as July approached.

Ziva put her hand on Emma's shoulder, before turning around to walk out of the room. She closed the door softly and went into the kitchen, where Tony was talking on Ziva's home phone. He listened a while after Ziva came into the kitchen, and then hanged up and said "Gibbs called me in, I gotta go." He left the wall where the phone had been installed, and went to stand in front of her, "I'm sorry that I'm leaving like this, but it's work and you seem to handle Emma pretty well on your own, anyway."

She shook her head as to tell him it was fine without using words, but they were needed anyway, "It is okay, I do understand. But why did Gibbs not call in me too?"

"Yeah, I forgot to tell you, he said some things, I don't really remember all of them, but it was something like we can't ever leave her alone and someone always has to be with her." He summed up everything the Boss had told him earlier that day.

"Okay." Ziva answered, "Well, she will not be alone. I will be here to… take care of her."

"I know you will." Tony said, and the love in his voice could not be missed. He kissed her once before leaving the apartment and going to work.

A few hours passed without Emma giving any sign that she wanted to leave the room, or that she was alive, for that matter. She didn't talk, she wasn't moving as far as Ziva knew. She was getting seriously worried when the girl had been totally silent in three hours, so she went to go and check on her. Emma was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling as her tears silently ran down her cheeks. She turned her head and saw Ziva. She sat up and whispered against her will, "Hi."

Ziva went to sit down beside her, she stroke her hair like a mother did to her child. "Are you feeling better?"

"A little, yes." She said with weak voice. But her insides were screaming, _**No! I'm NOT okay!**_ She had a headache from crying and lying down so long, and she was _so_ hungry.

"Do you want anything to eat, maybe?" Ziva asked and smiled, to get lighted the mood a little. Emma nodded and stood up with Ziva. Emma's eyes blackened for a second from her standing up too fast. She looked down at her sweating body, and realized that she was still wearing the same clothes as she had the whole day, and her hair was a mess, like her makeup and her life.

Ziva started to walk to the kitchen. "Do you want to use the shower?" Her voice sounded through the apartment. "I am sure you have had better days."

Emma shook her head to Ziva's back when she entered the kitchen, and she began to count in her head all the times she had shaken her head today. "I don't have any clothes." She, of course, wanted to take a shower and not feel so dirty and ugly, but she also didn't want to borrow some stranger's clothes. Not that Ziva was a stranger anymore, but still.

"You are right," Ziva said, remembering the fact that Emma's all belongings were blown up. "We will go shopping tomorrow, so you get some new clothes." Ziva gestured with her hand for Emma to sit down at the table, as she went to the refrigerator to see if she had any leftovers.

"Thanks" Emma said simply.

Whenever someone mentioned shopping to Emma, she would either jump of joy or cringe, depending on her mood. Now she did nothing.

Ziva warmed up a plate of spaghetti in the microwave, and put the plate in front of Emma, together with a glass of water and a fork, "I only have this for you, I hope it is enough."

"Yeah, it is. Thanks."

Ziva watched as Emma ate the food. None of them said anything; they just stayed in a peaceful silence. But Ziva suspected that maybe she wanted to be alone a while, so she walked into the living room, leaving Emma alone with her thoughts.

Emma ate the food slowly, when though she was terribly hungry. She was grateful of what Ziva gave her, and how she comforted her when she needed it, even though they had only met today. And Ziva had already offered to go shopping with her, which she had always had to do alone before. She had loved her father, really much, but his work made it harder for them to be together. Ever since she turned twelve he had worked long hours because he had decided that she could take care of herself.

She had just met Ziva, and she was already stroking her hair and worrying about her and something about that made Emma feel better for a moment. And she knew that if Ziva kept on like this, she'd be fine in no time.

She put the plate in the sink and poured herself another glass of water. She was very, very thirsty and she drank it in two long gulps. She went to the living room, where Ziva sat on the couch, reading a book Emma couldn't see the title of. She sat down beside her and spoke up, saying the words she knew were needed to be said, "Thanks Ziva."

Ziva looked up from her book and smiled a little, "For what, exactly?"

"Taking care of me." Emma answered simply. It wasn't harder than that.

"I only gave you leftovers to dinner, I am sure that cannot be called 'taking care of'." Ziva replied, as she put her bookmark on the page in the book she was reading, and put the book on the floor beside the couch.

Emma made herself a little bit more comfortable on the couch. She took a pillow and hugged it, and said, "Well, you were the one who didn't want me to stay with the Social Services, you carried me to the bed-"

Ziva interrupted, "Tony did that, I just opened the doors."

"-you checked on me every half hour. You comforted me too, and we met today. Thanks is the last thing I can say."

"You are very welcome." Ziva replied. She smiled when she heard the front door open and close, and they both heard Tony shouting mockingly;

"Honey, I'm home!"

Ziva smiled when she noticed that he was already calling her apartment home, and that he was so comfortable there, because she really wanted them to live together, and have a life together.

Emma stood up to leave when Tony came into the living room, making him ask her, "Hey, where are you going?"

"I thought maybe you wanted to be alone. I don't wanna be in the way." Emma replied with a half-smile. She looked longingly at the guest room door, and wished that she could just go there now.

"C'mon, you're not in the way, you can stay."

Emma shook her head and said, "Thanks, but it's okay."

"Okay." Tony's voice was suspicious, but he didn't add anything, so Emma took the opportunity to leave. Tony went to sit beside Ziva as the guestroom door closed.

"It is late, what happened at work?"

Tony sighed as he made himself comfortable by laying his arm around her and his feet on the coffee table, "We found some things, but we only got more questions. We know that Commander Moore was shot twice in the chest with a Glock. And we found a footprint that didn't match the victim since he wasn't wearing any shoes, but it was too smeared to trace anywhere." Then he took a deep breath and said, "Well, Ducky also found something when he did the autopsy. The guy took drugs. That's where the questions come from."

Ziva was shocked and surprised that's he was amazed she even could speak when she said, "What kind of drugs?"

"LSD." Tony replied, and shifted uncomfortably.

"It cannot be possible, Emma did not know anything like that, and she said he was always careful with that kind of things." Ziva tried. She knew it was useless to say anything because evidence didn't lie, but she felt like she wanted to defend Emma, in case she had actually withheld the truth.

"She either lied, or she didn't know. Maybe he told her he worked much and took the drugs when she thought he was working. Early mornings, late nights. You should ask her, I think she trusts you. And actually-"

Ziva interrupted him and said, "LSD?" She had just then recovered from her surprise and she realized; "It begins to work from 15 minutes to 4 hours after it has been taken. That means he must have been high at work. Did you check with his colleagues?"

Tony closed his eyes for a longer blink before he said, "Yeah, I was getting there…" he looked her in the eyes when he said, "Commander Moore hasn't been to work in two years."

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><p>Reviews are always appreciated.<p> 


	3. Sick of hanging on

**Chapter 3: Sick of hanging on**

_Emma unlocks the door and walks into her home. It's dark, and dusty, and she wonders how it could have gotten like that in a week; but then again, her father hasn't used a vacuum cleaner in three years, why would he now?  
><em>

_She bends down to take off her Converse. They were purple, and new. Keith had gotten them for her while she was visiting, and she loved them. And they were still new-looking and clean, so she couldn't wait to get back to school the next day to show them off. She walks into the kitchen and looks around. There's not a light on in the whole house, so she turns on the one in the living room when she passes it. She feels like sneezing, and tries to hold it back. She let out a grunt her nose starts to burn, but she doesn't really care.  
><em>

_"Dad?" She says in a normal voice; only slightly higher so he would be able to hear her if he was anywhere downstairs. "Dad?" she tried again, but gives up and walks to the door where she had put down the grocery bags. She had been shopping on her way home, a silly thing really, but she was hungry and she knew that her dad wouldn't have gone shopping while she was away. But then again; he ever went shopping. She picked up the brown paper-bag, and walks back to the kitchen. _

_She seats the bag onto the dinner table and starts to unload it, and all the time she tries not to sneeze. How could it get so dirty? She had cleaned very thoroughly before she left. There are big dust bunnies in the corners, and probably under the beds and the couch._

_When she's done with the unpacking of the groceries, she folds the bag neatly for future use, and puts it in the cupboard under the sink with all the other identical bags. She closes the door to the cupboard and tries again to call for her dad. _

_He doesn't answer, and she's sure he's not home. But then again; he's never home._

* * *

><p>Ziva stared at him as if he were crazy; she hoped he just had told her a really bad joke, and that it most definitely wasn't true. But his eyes told her otherwise so she looked away, she didn't want to face the facts. She ran a hand through her hair and made a sad sigh.<p>

She stood up and walked away from the couch; she felt so bad for Emma.

Ziva soon found herself outside the guest room – more like Emma's room – and opened it, just to make sure she hadn't heard anything. But Emma was already sleeping. She had fallen asleep on top of the wrinkled covers; her chest rising and falling slowly. Ziva stood there – leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed - for a moment, looking at Emma's sleeping figure, and wondered how she would react to the terrible news. She glanced back when she heard footsteps coming towards her and she felt Tony behind her. "Should I tell her?", she asked.

"Yeah, she may know something about it. Maybe she lied, maybe she didn't, but you still have to tell her." Tony answered. Ziva nodded. She removed herself from the door frame, closed the door softly and turned around to face Tony. He looked sad as he said, "I'm sorry."

"You should be telling Emma that." Ziva said, and brushed past him. Tony tried to grab her wrist, but missed. She felt his fingers trail down her palm and she turned around.

"Why are you mad at me?"

Ziva shook her head, "I am not mad, I am just… sad. I feel like I have to put Emma back into pieces before she does something stupid."

"She's a smart girl. She knows better than getting herself into something she would regret." Tony tried to reassure her.

She took a few breaths, before replying something very chocking for Tony, "I feel hate for the Commander, he destroyed the last two years of her life. And frustration for Emma." She looked him in the eyes as she whispered, "I want to make her feel better, I want to take care of her."

"You will." Tony answered simply, as he brought her into his arms. The love the embrace was keeping was for Ziva enough to feel safe, and believe those words. She put her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. She knew that if she really tried, and with Tony's help, they could put Emma back into place together. Piece by piece. "You will."

The next morning, Emma woke up to the birds. Someone had opened her window a little, and the blinds to let the light shine in on her. She smiled, but it was weak due to her just waking up. She turned her face to the window and looked out the window up at the bright blue sky. She looked out for a few minutes, and she felt happy. But soon she remembered where her dad was, and when she turned her head and saw the unfamiliar room, she remembered where she was. Her house had exploded. She was wearing the same clothes as yesterday and she was living with Ziva.

She didn't come up with any words to describe Ziva. Stranger? No, not anymore. Mother figure? No, not yet. Friend? Yes, but yet somehow no.

She sighed a deep sigh and sat up in the bed, and smelled herself. She smelled really bad, she needed a shower. Then she looked down at her body and noticed the only clothes she possessed. The red top, the jeans, the shoes and the leather jacket. She stood up from the bed and tip toed to the bathroom. She didn't know what time it was, and honestly; she didn't really care either. Time didn't make any difference in her situation.

She locked the bathroom door, and went in front of the mirror. Her makeup was smeared, and her red curls were a lot curlier than usually, and not in a good way. She pulled a few hands through her hair, but when she realized that it was way too painful, she just put some warm water on a towel and wiped of her makeup, just to look a little normal. When she was done she stared at the black mascara stripes on the white towel.

After that she searched after something to put up her hair with, so it wouldn't seem as terrible as it was. She found a black rubber band in the medicine cabinet, took the nearest hairbrush and brushed her hair until it was as straight as possible, then she made a tight bun on her head. She looked better now, so she put on a little smile and she was good to go.

There was a knock on the bathroom door and Ziva's voice asking, "Emma?"

Emma went to open the door and faced Ziva's smiling face. Her own smile smiled back, and Ziva asked, "Are you feeling better today?"

Emma nodded, but she didn't answer. She was afraid that she would start crying if she talked about anything that had happened the day before. She walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, and saw Tony at the table. He was eating breakfast and smiled at her when she walked in. Ziva was straight behind her and talked while she walked, "You are going to have to be with Tony, Gibbs called and said that I was needed today." She smiled at the next sentence, "He can even go shopping with you, if you feel like it."

Emma laughed a small laugh as she said, "I can go alone." She sat down at the table, but didn't make any move to eat breakfast. She wasn't feeling hungry. She wasn't feeling anything, really.

"Uh…" Tony started, "You're not actually allowed to be alone… ever."

Emma's head snapped up from staring at the table. She was confused at first, but then she just felt angry; she didn't need protection. "I don't _need_ a babysitter. I can take perfect care of myself, I've done that for quite a while now."

Ziva shot Tony a look. This certainly was related to their case. "Why is that?" He asked.

"Dad just started working a lot after I turned twelve, military stuff, you know…" Emma replied, but she realized that she had said too much. She looked between Tony and Ziva with a worried face, and hoped they wouldn't think that she had said something important. It was useless.

Ziva looked at the back of Emma's head. They had just found something. "Tony, I need to talk to you."

She gave him a look that told him to follow her, and she went into the bedroom to be sure Emma wouldn't hear them. Tony went after her and when he reached the room he closed the door, and turned on the lights. He whispered in a very upset voice; "He told her he was working!"

"I know, Tony! I did hear her." Ziva replied, "How long had he been taking drugs?"

"At least for the last twenty-five to twenty-seven months, but Emma said that he had worked long hours for two years. We checked his older work records – from three years ago and so - and according to them he was working normal hours."

"Now we have to figure out why he wasn't working and why he was lying to Emma."

Tony speculated for a few seconds in his mind. "Maybe he died from a drug deal gone bad?"

"I don't think so… why would they be after Emma in that case?" Ziva asked him. She was willing to go through any conspiracy theory there was, because she just wanted it all to end.

"He was on medical leave for three months, which leaves us a few months to question." Oddly enough, Tony was feeling the same as Ziva, and he just wanted to put the killer behind bars.

Ziva's face turned confused, "But Emma has not known anything about a medical leave she-" she looked at the clock and sighed, "At least I think so. I am really late, I have to go. Try to talk to her today."

"I don't think she trusts me the same way as she trusts you."

Ziva looked at him with a little smile "Make her trust you, tell her you are on her side and you will protect her from any harm. Make her believe it, too. She will tell you if you make sure she knows that."

"Okay, I'll try. I guess…" Tony answered and Ziva opened the door and walked out of the room into the kitchen. Tony followed her slowly, as if he was scared of her, or Emma. Or well; the kitchen.

"I will go to work now, Emma. Tony will take you shopping, and don't care about how much money you get to use, we will pay for you. You need a lot of new clothes if you are going to stay here." Tony heard her tell Emma.

"Okay. Thanks Ziva." Emma answered simply, and Ziva walked out of the kitchen and straight to the door. He watched her as she grabbed her things swiftly on the way. After she had put her shoes on and she placed her gun at her waist.

He went to stand in front of her, and she looked at him seriously, and said, "Be nice with her."

He nodded, and leaned in to kiss her. She smiled and kissed him. Before she walked out of the apartment she waved to Emma who was a few feet behind Tony, and she was off to work.

Tony was left standing in the hallway, with his thoughts messed up. He had never spent time with a teenage girl. He had once or twice been forced to be with some teenage boys, but he was pretty sure that boy and girls were very different at that age. He sighed and wiped his face. He hadn't even noticed Emma; who apparently had made her to his side, with her shoes on and still with the little smile on her lips. "Time to go, Tony." She tried to sound as if she was mocking him.

He laughed as he nodded in agreement, took his stuff and walked out of the apartment like Ziva had done only a moment before. Emma followed graciously behind him as he left for the car.

* * *

><p>Two hours later, they sat at a café and got to know each other. A few moments earlier they had been bickering about what café or diner to go to, because they were both hungry. But they had decided on a place right outside the shopping mall. Under the shopping session he had almost started to cry, because Emma certainly was a very shopping crazy gal. But he had also tried to make sure she could trust him in a quiet and discrete way.<p>

She had five full shopping bags at her feet and she was smiling for real. She even laughed at his jokes sometimes, something he took as a good sign. She told him a lot about herself - like how much she loved to read and watch movies; something he found as a very, very good thing, and they had had a long conversation about the best movies from the 80's. She was strangely educated on the subject, and Tony had been genuinely impressed.

Emma also told him about her father, but mostly about things they had done when she was younger, stuff that wasn't to any help for him at all. He was getting frustrated because he didn't want to be too forward about her dad, but he needed information and he was pretty sure she knew that. Because she told him about her friends and her life before her father's death, but of all the things she told him; none of them was about her father under the past two years.

After a while their conversation slipped into a silence that was rather uncomfortable. Tony looked up at Emma who was poking around in the blueberry pie she had ordered. He took his chance and asked, " Did you and your Dad never do stuff together after you turned twelve?"

"No." She sighed sadly. She hadn't even actually noticed what he asked her, she just kind of said anything that sounded right to her situation. "He started working so much. I've been taking care of myself since then." She looked up at him, because she was just now realizing. But she saw no idea to why she should stop talking, so she kept going. "But these past months have been really strange. Even though he was working so much we didn't get much money at all, and while he was working he never called home to check up on me or anything. Not that he did that when I was younger, but then again he wasn't really working as much then." She was quiet for a moment before she added, "He became more tired, and paler too."

"Did you ever ask him what was wrong?"

"No." Emma replied. "It didn't seem right." And just that made him sure that she needed to know the truth. And he was the one who was going to tell her because Ziva wasn't there to do it, and he couldn't ask anyone else to do it for him, and because he suspected that maybe he was the right person for the job.

No one else but him or Ziva were supposed to see the hurt on her face. The betrayal and the mess. No one else was supposed to assure her that her father loved her, even though he hadn't been around so much, even though they hadn't had so much contact these past years. No one.

"Emma, there's something I have to tell you." Tony started, and he saw the confusion and subconscious fear grow in her eyes; he started to change his mind. But he knew that there was no more room for lies in her life anymore, so all he could do was to tell her. But he decided to get to the truth slowly. "Did your dad have any medical conditions?"

Emma shook her head, "None that I know of. Though I'm probably not… the person to ask."

Tony ignored the last part of what she said. "He was on medical leave for eighteen months, six months ago. Was he telling you he was at work?"

She nodded, slowly. She was still confused but mentally preparing herself for anything he might tell her.

"He wasn't, we don't know where he was, but we do know why. And I can tell you he most definitely wasn't where you thought he was." Tony said, continuing, "The past six months has been the same; he told you he was at work, but he wasn't."

Emma was taken by surprise, and asked Tony, "What?", because she wasn't sure she had heard right. She also couldn't decide what emotion she was going to plaster her face and body with. She decided to add, "Why?".

Tony looked at her, and saw as the tears slowly formed in her eyes, as he spoke three letters that would change her life forever "LSD."

He didn't know how he had done it, but he surely had done it. Just a moment ago she had been smiling and laughing and telling him about her life, and now she was to the edge of crying once again, and he was the one who had caused it. He felt bad when he said the next thing "He had been taking it for thirteen months. Maybe he faked a medical condition, we don't know yet."

Emma was staring at him, not saying anything, neither was she about to say anything. They sat silently a while, before Tony spoke and said, "Wanna go home?"

Instead of nodding, as Tony had expected she gave him a proper answer, "Yeah. I could use a shower to get all his lies off of me." Her weak voice burned a hole into his heart.

He had no idea what to reply to that, so he nodded and stood up and took four of her shopping bags. She did the same, and took the last bag. They walked in silence to the car, Emma once again deep in thought. She wanted to know why her father had done this to himself, and her. She wanted to know why he had lied to her. They were silent the whole way home, and Emma tried so hard to remember if she had ever gotten a clue about what had happened. Had he ever had a slip of the tongue and said too much? Not that she could remember. Had he ever acted high or absent? All the time.

Of course, he had always been ignoring her and only answered with a straight reply; only when he really had too. But she would never have guessed that it was like this.

When Tony stopped outside the apartment building he turned to Emma and looked at her for moment. She made no move to open the door and walk away, but it looked like she really was considering it. "You okay?"

"Take a wild guess." She was sarcastic. She was angry with him right now.

"No?" Tony said, and he had to smile a little to his own joke, but it vanished when she didn't look at him or even reacted to what he said. So he tried again, "Well I was just gonna say that if you ever wanna talk-"

"I can talk to you?" she asked, interrupting him as she wanted to get away from him. She wanted him to hurry up whatever he was going to say, and he noticed.

"Nah, I was gonna say that you can talk to Ziva." He said, and grinned before he got serious and said, "She really cares for you."

"Yeah." Emma answered.

Not saying anything more, they both opened their respective doors and stepped out. Emma took all her shopping bags by herself because she felt like she could do at least that much. Emma could admit to herself, that when she woke up that morning she had felt nothing. Then, she had started to feel a tingling, something other than the emptiness of 'nothing'. Now it was gone again, and she was drained from anything she had felt that day. She wanted to cry.

* * *

><p>When Ziva came home that night Tony was sitting on the couch, watching a movie that he paid no attention to. He wasn't even aware that it was playing, and he couldn't really remember putting it in the DVD-player either. But he looked up from the TV when he heard Ziva, and he smiled a little. "Hey."<p>

"Hello." Ziva replied as she went to sit beside him. She looked at him a moment before she asked softly, "What has happened?"

He felt miserable for what he was going to tell her; that Emma was probably worse now than she was before and that she hadn't spoken, eaten, or even given a clue of life since they came home. "I told Emma about her dad after the not so terrible shopping session. Also, I think I should add that she is... quite the shopper." He chuckled when he saw the look on Ziva's face, but changed to a serious face when he continued. "She hasn't given a sign that she's alive since we came home."

"She will need time, Tony." Ziva said, once again. She began to seat herself more comfortably on the couch beside him. "She just found out her own Father has been lying to her for several months."

"Yeah, I know. But it just feels like I've made it worse."

"Well you have, but that does not matter because she had to know. She would feel the same whoever told her. It is just so." Ziva said, matter-of-factly, while she tried to comfort Tony. He was, however, not even a little bit reassured. But he hid it, and replied;

"Yeah, I guess."

"She will be fine." Ziva smiled. She kissed Tony's cheek, before she stood up and asked while she was walking to the kitchen, "Have you or Emma eaten anything?"

"No." Tony said, loud enough for her to hear.

Ziva searched after something to eat, but since all the leftovers were eaten she decided to call after pizza. She grabbed her wireless home-phone and went to the living room where Tony still hadn't moved. He was staring at the TV, where the movie still was on. They were shooting and screamen on screen, and it was giving Ziva a headache so she reached for the remote and turned off the movie before she sat down beside Tony again.

"She loved her dad." He said. He was sad.

"Why are you telling me this?" Ziva asked, actually a bit worried for him.

"She told me about her life. Before everything happened between her dad and her, they were really close. They did things together; family things. She misses him."

The image of her own Father appeared in her head, and Ziva didn't know what to say. She just took Tony's hand and squeezed it a little. She brushed away the picture from her mind and told Tony, "Well, at least she trusts you. She opened up to you."

He nodded and looked at her face, he looked into her eyes. He couldn't describe just how much he loved her eyes. They were always there for him to look into, and seek reassurance.

"I am going to check on her." She said and headed to the guest room.

She knocked softly on the door before she opened the door. It creaked a little, and made Emma look up from her position on the bed. She had been sitting there, with her head in her hands before Ziva came. The only sound in the room had been her sobs. She had dried because of her loneliness in the world, and all she had wanted was for some feeling of being really alive. Tears had been the answer, and she had cried, without caring who heard.

When Ziva saw her face, she looked like a ghost. Her eyes were bigger than they usually were, and they were red from the saltiness leaving her eyes. She was paler than she had ever been before; her skin having an almost grayish tone. Ziva hurried to her side and embraced the girl, because that was the only thing that seemed rational. As she sat and held a hard grip onto Emma, she felt as her shoulder got wet with tears.

"It is all right, do not cry." She whispered in Emma's ear, "Everything will get better."

The tears didn't seem to stop, and Emma kept on letting out tears onto Ziva's soaked shoulder. Ziva repeated comforting things in her ear in a try to heal the pain a little. After a while they had both laid down on the bed, and Emma seemed to calm down, into sleep. When Ziva was absolutely sure that Emma was sleeping, she slowly and carefully got up from the bed and pulled the covers over Emma's still figure. Ziva stroked Emma's hair and she noticed that Emma hadn't taken that shower she really needed. A small tear rolled down Ziva's cheek when she watched the teenager breathing slowly, as if she hadn't been crying her eyes out just a while ago.

This girl's life was ruined, and there was no way she could fix it, however she tried.

"She'll be fine." Tony whispered behind her. She shook her head. She knew she had been the one trying to convince him of it earlier; but now it just seemed meaningless. She didn't believe it one second anymore.

"She is so broken. She will always carry the scar of this with her."

She turned and faced him, as he did the best to comfort her with a hug. "She _will_ be fine. We will heal her, okay? Sure, she'll always have the scar from this, but she'll learn to live with it, and she will be okay. And as you've tried to tell me, she needs time; so she will cry many more tears and she will need much more comfort, but we'll give her that. I know how much you want to solve the case, while you want to be there for her, so let me help you."

Ziva nodded to his chest as she mumbled a quiet, "I love you." Then she looked at his face and said; "We will get through this." Even if she didn't fully believe it; after his words it didn't seem as hopeless.

"We will."

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews are always appreciated.<strong>


	4. If I die young

**Chapter 4: If I die young**

_"Hi, dad? Can you sign this? It's for school." In her hand, Emma holds a paper, where the words _"Signed by guardian"_ were burning a hole into it.  
><em>

_He grunts and turns the TV volume higher to tune her out. But she's determined to get his attention this time, and tries again._

_"Dad! It's important!"_

_He doesn't even look at her. His eyes are blank and contain no emotion, what-so-ever. They hadn't had any emotion in them for a while anyway; so Emma had stopped caring about that. Really, she didn't care much for her dad's wellbeing at all anymore; if he wanted to act like and emotionless zombie, she wasn't going to stop him. But if he was affecting her and her schoolwork in general, she was going to step up._

_"DAD! I am SERIOUS."_

_He doesn't answer once again. He acts like he doesn't hear her, and he keeps staring at the weatherman on the TV screen. She wants to call in Social Services, so they can come and pick her up so she can leave that bastard who calls himself her father. She hits him on the arm to get him to react._

_He doesn't even flinch._

* * *

><p>A few days passed and Emma didn't get much better. She wasn't asking about the case, because she knew they couldn't tell her anything, but also because she genuinely didn't want to hear any more of the lies her Father had put into her. She wasn't questioning the fact that she didn't go to school, because even though school seemed safe, she was going to walk to and home from school alone. Tony and Ziva were glad she didn't ask about the case, because they were stuck. They hadn't found anything that could possibly help the investigation, and Abby was frustrated for not finding anything in the evidence they had gathered at the scene, and McGee had joined Abby in her frustration after he had called every person that Commander Moore had ever interacted with.<p>

They had interrogated a few people, but none of them were involved in the murder, as far as they could see, anyway.

But Tony and Ziva still worked long hours, trying so hard to find _anything_. Any small clue, any little piece of evidence, would do; at least it would be one step closer to helping Emma up from her dark hole. But as they worked long hours, they didn't do it together. Ziva stayed home with Emma every other day, and Tony stayed home with Emma the days Ziva wasn't. It was a simple thing, but it worked for them and Emma. But one thing that was bugging both Tony and Ziva terribly, was that they barely saw each other. They talked on the phone a lot, and texted, but not much else. Maybe they passed each other in the door, and even that didn't happen too often.

But one dull day when Emma and Tony were home together, Tony decided to move all his stuff into Ziva's apartment. He had decided that the idea wasn't so stupid, and he had Emma to help him, so it went by fast, since he had all of his stuff he wanted there neatly packed into big, brown boxes with black letters on them telling what was in them. Emma was gladly surprised by the ten biggest (and heaviest) boxes that had 'MOVIES' scribbled on the side. Though when they packed up the movies after dinner, it had taken them a couple of hours due to the fact that Tony was very picky about the way they were supposed to be put in the empty bookshelf he had brought.

Ziva was taken by surprise when she got home early that morning and saw Tony's whole DVD collection in a bookshelf she had never seen in her apartment before; but she had smiled, and decided to put in her own DVD's there as well. Though they weren't so many and Tony already had a few of them.

Even though Emma was in a dark place almost all of the time, she was eating at least three meals every day, and she was showering frequently. She helped to do the laundry on the days Ziva worked, and watched movies with Ziva the days Tony worked. But she was still avoiding talking to her friends; even though it seemed like she missed them. They noticed because sometimes she's drop a comment about her best friend Jessica, and whenever she did that, she'd look extra sad afterward and walk into another room.

Emma was really starting to feel as if Ziva's apartment was home. But whenever she started to think thoughts about where she would go after they had found her Father's killer, she got the depressed look on her face and she didn't talk to anyone for a few hours. That's why she tried to not think those thoughts, and come through the day with a smile on her face; not matter how fake it was.

But one day that smile faded when Tony came home and he had that angry look on his face, as he shouted "Emma!"

"Yes" She answered, looking up from the movie she was watching. She hoped, and wished, that it was something un-important. That he was just freaking out about the weather, or something.

"You've lied."

Ziva, who had been in the kitchen, came out and looked at Tony with an asking expression on her face as she almost begged him to continue.

"You lied! Your dad was on a trip for five months, and one of those months was the first month of his LSD shit." Tony said. "We haven't found it before today because he was under another identity, but why the hell didn't you tell us?"

Emma had known they would find it sooner or later, but she knew that she had hoped with all of her heart that it would be later. Why she hadn't told them, she didn't know. She trusted them, and it would help the investigation, but why she hadn't spoken the words of truth, she didn't know. She looked down at her hands instead to look Tony in the eyes and tell him that _she didn't know_. She just put all her attention at her right ring finger and ignored the feeling of his eyes on her.

Ziva was in a minor chock. Maybe they were coming somewhere with the case, now that they had found this, but she didn't know how to react after _this_. She had genuinely believed that Emma wasn't withholding anything from them, that she had told them everything she had known about her father's life. She looked at Tony and gestured him to come to the kitchen. Tony shot another dirty look at Emma, and went into the small kitchen after Ziva.

"Tell me all about this." Ziva threw at him as soon as he had entered. She actually didn't care if Emma heard it or not, she just wanted to know.

Tony didn't hesitate to tell her everything he knew. "He was on a trip - or vacation, whatever you wanna call it - to New York for, as you heard, five months. He was under the identity John Peterson for those months. We don't know yet why he was in New York, but we've got some agents sent there to go and knock on doors, and maybe find some suspects, I don't know. But I don't get it how she could hide this from us."

"I don't know either, but she is having a hard time now and-"

"Ziva, don't gimme that crap right now, because it won't work. She was hiding important information and we've asked her if she knows anything at all that could even help us a little, which she has told us, she just forgot to mention that he was away for five months."

"I am sure she had a very good reason for not telling us!" Ziva tried to defend Emma, but it was useless because nothing would change Tony's mind about it.

"She better." Tony said, and it was impossible to not see his fury.

She hadn't expected that. "Or what, Tony? What are you going to do?" Her eyes burning into him, daring him to threaten Emma.

Tony realized that he had said something very, very wrong, and tried to let it go by saying, "Sorry, I just-" He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm just tired, okay? Let's just talk to her and hear her part of this… thing."

Ziva agreed with shouting "Emma!", without looking away from Tony's face. They both heard Emma's quiet footsteps coming towards them, and when she reached them Tony turned around and looked her furiously in the eyes.

"Okay, take this as a chance to tell us the truth. If you do, we won't reflect upon the fact that you _lied_ to us for several weeks, and all will be forgiven." He started, and he noticed that she looked a little scared, but she hid it well and answered confidently;

"He was away on some work thing for five months, or at least that was what he told me. But really, I don't know what to believe these days."

"Were you alone those months?" Tony asked coolly. He was still bitter with her.

"No. I would've, but mom's cousin got to know about it and I stayed with her. I would still be staying with her, but since dad is my legal guardian, and he hadn't been physically abusing me or something like that, she couldn't keep me there." She answered, not changing her face expression.

Tony believed her. For some reason he saw the truth in her eyes, and the fact that she actually had looked him in the eye while telling him this, made him even more convinced.

He nodded. "Is there anything else we should know?" He made sure his voice was a little softer than it had been before.

"No."

"Good. You can go now." Tony dismissed her, and she did as she was told. She hurried out from the kitchen before he'd change his mind and force her to stay in the room. They hadn't been very quiet before she had been forced into the kitchen, and she had heard almost everything they had said; and she now she had completely changed her mind about Tony.

Tony turned back to Ziva, who hadn't said anything under the short conversation. Her face was holding that one expression that always disturbed him. Nothing. Her face was empty. She didn't have that expression very often, but when she did have it, he felt hopeless. "Don't look at me like that. I didn't do anything."

"No. Sorry." She answered, and her face turned soft as she said, "Should I go back to work instead of you? You have been working many hours."

"No, I'll go. I seriously don't think it's so good if Emma and I are alone."

"And why is that?"

"It's just a feeling I have." He replied, and sighed before saying goodbye and leaving the apartment. Ziva was left alone in the kitchen. She didn't stand there for long before she went into the living room and sat down beside Emma in the couch. She wasn't watching TV anymore, she had turned it off to hear, what Tony and Ziva had been saying, better. She was now staring at the paused movie in front of her.

"Is there, anything that you did not tell Tony, but that we still should know?" Ziva asked, and looked at the side of Emma's face. Emma had her long hair down, laying onto her shoulders, so Ziva only saw her long eyelashes and the tip of her nose.

She shook her head, and this time it was true. She didn't like, she was done with lies. She had decided to never tell a lie ever again. It only brought pain to herself and everyone else involved.

The silence fell over them, and as the darkness did too, they were both watching the TV screen.

* * *

><p>The next day, Emma didn't say much. She wasn't mad or anything, but it was Tony's day to stay home with her and since the day before, she knew that she and Tony probably weren't friends right now. They had eaten breakfast in silence, because Ziva had gone to work a lot earlier than they had woken up, and none of them started a conversation.<p>

Emma had stayed in her room the whole morning until lunchtime, when Tony had knocked on her door and walked in. "Do you wanna have lunch? We could watch a movie. Like we always do."

She smiled. He was telling her in his own way that they were okay. She nodded and said, "Yeah. Sure." She got up from the bed where she had been reading on of Ziva's French books.

"Okay." Tony smiled back at her, and opened the door wider for her, before leaving and walking to the kitchen. She went after him as she asked:

"What are we eating?"

He held up a plate filled with pieces of frozen pepperoni pizza and grinned "Pizza."

They watched the movie as they ate their pizzas and talked. They both really liked the movie they'd chosen, and laughed at a few places. Somewhere to the end, Tony's cell phone started ringing and when he looked at the caller ID he said "Ziva."

"Hello beautiful." He answered, as a reply he got her stressed voice.

"Tony, I need you to come in. The agents came to DC hours ago with a few suspects and I need your help to interrogate them. They are quite a few…" She sounded more than tired; exhausted. Tony could almost hear her headache.

"Of course I'll come. But what about Emma?" He asked, and Emma said – loud enough for Ziva to hear -,

"I can take care of myself!"

"Was that Emma -? Oh, wait a second." Tony heard her when she shouted angrily at someone. Probably a Probie making a mistake, and being so unlucky that Ziva spotted it while being on the edge. "Sorry. Tony please, come in! I really need you, these people are driving me _nuts_!"

He laughed and shot a look at Emma, who was nodding furiously in approval of him leaving, and turned back to the TV. "Yeah, I'm coming. See you soon."

He snapped his phone shut and looked at Emma again. He opened his mouth to tell her the rules about his leaving, and her being alone, but she was faster and said, "I won't open the door to anyone. I won't answer the phone. I won't open the windows, and I won't go outside. Yeah, I know the rules. They make me seem like a baby, but hey, I didn't make them."

Tony laughed. "Good girl. If you want anything, or there's something that seems wrong, call me or Ziva. Right away. Don't wait to call until it's too late." Emma nodded, understanding him. Maybe the rules they had made up for her were silly and not so fun to follow, but it was because they cared she knew, and for that she was grateful.

Tony stood up and to the kitchen with his plate, then he headed for his shoes and car keys. Before he left though, he peeked into the living room to say goodbye, and that was when he saw that look on her face. The one that told him how much she disliked this treating. "You'll be fine on your own?" He asked, to make sure.

"Yes Tony, I will. And I'll call you right away when I think something is wrong, won't think twice." Emma replied, and the look on her face left immediately and replaced it with something that looked like a smile. Tony smiled back and his head left the living room. "Wait, Tony!"

"Yes?" His head appeared again, joined by his whole body in the doorway.

She paused. Then she changed her mind about what she was going to ask, and said, "Nothing. I'll see you later."

Tony was suspicious, but he left anyway and Emma was alone. Something she hadn't been a lot lately.

She watched the movie until it ended. When the end credits were rolling while playing a funky song, she did as Tony and went with her plate to the kitchen. She didn't feel like washing it by hand, which was what Tony had done in quite a haste before he left, so she opened the dishwasher to put it there. To her great disappointment it was filled with clean plates, forks, and knives, so she just decided to leave the plate on the counter and let somebody else worry about it later.

She went to turn off the movie. The room turned quiet at once, and before she even noticed, she was putting in another movie. She picked one at random, and was pleased by the result.

The movie started. But she wasn't concentrating on _it_, but Ziva's wireless home-phone on the coffee table. It was there, screaming her name, wanting her to pick it up and dial the _only_ number she knew by heart. So she reached for it, and did it with her eyes closed; because she wasn't allowed to make any other phone calls than to Tony or Ziva, and if she didn't look at the buttons she was pushing, she couldn't feel guilty.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

"Pick up, for Goodness sa—Hi, Keith! How are you?"

Emma was relieved to hear his voice. She closed her eyes and just listened as he talked, because this was the voice she couldn't miss more than she already did. The familiarity of it was making her head spin, and for just a moment she felt like her dad wasn't dead…

"I'm good too. Or, y'know, as good as I _can_ be. Did you hear about it?"

_… like everything was like it always had been…_

"It is terrible. But I'm fine, stop worrying. How's everything, tell me something!"

_… like _he_ wasn't miles away on the other end of the phone line…_

"That's so great, I wish I was there!"

_… like her life was just as normal as she wanted it to be…_

"Yeah Keith… I miss you."

_… like she was feeling _something_…_

Emma heard something, and pulled the phone from her ear for just a second. There was only quiet and she put the phone back where it belonged to keep listening to his voice. He was enthusiastic about something important, and she wished that she knew what it was, but she couldn't concentrate on his words because of the sound. That came again, and again. She told him to hold on, and she stood up from the couch to go and check the kitchen, and the hall. She felt frightened.

The kitchen was empty. She turned off the lights while walking into the bright living room. She spoke into the phone to tell _him_ to wait just another second, when she saw him.

He stood there. The dark man.

He was all dressed in black with his hand resting on the light switch on the wall. She didn't have time to get a look at his face before the lights turned off and they stood in complete darkness. She knew he was dangerous.

She was too scared to say anything, and she felt paralyzed. But she was after all holding the phone in her hand, it wouldn't take five seconds to end her ongoing call and call Tony, but she couldn't. Her thumb couldn't move, and if it could it wouldn't have found the right button; she was shaking. She squeezed her eyes shut, and felt a tear behind her eyelid. Why did she cry so much?

She kept her eyes closed, when she heard the man coming closer to her. His footsteps seemed much louder than they actually were, and his breath seemed heavier than it was. She felt the presence of him close to her and she wanted to scream out. She did, when his hands collided on several parts of her body, and the last thing she felt before she passed out was the unbearable pain on every part of her.

"_Ems…? Emma? Hello! What happened? Where did you go?"_

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews are always appreciated.<strong>_  
><em>


	5. A bad dream

**Chapter 5: A bad dream**

Tony and Ziva were in the waiting room, waiting for an update on Emma. Ziva was sitting in a chair, her head in her hands as she tried to force back her tears. She was supposed to take care of Emma, and what had happened? She had been beaten senseless and found outside the apartment building by a neighbor who had heard the noise. Why hadn't Ziva heard the noise? Why hadn't she been there? The neighbor had of course called 911 and shortly after that Tony had gotten a call from a paramedic – who also happened to be a friend – that the girl who he was taking care of, was black and yellow from a beating she'd received when he wasn't around.

He was blaming himself for leaving Emma alone, because he _should have known better_.

He was walking back and forth in front of Ziva, pacing. The sound of his feet was the only thing that filled up the empty corridor. Ziva was a little bit annoyed, but she didn't say anything because her mind was on Emma only. Tony kept muttering things like _'How did this happen?'_ and _'It's all my fault'_. At first, Ziva had tried to convince him otherwise, but she had stopped when her head hurt too much to think about anything but the most necessary. And also, she did blame him a little. Not that she had told him.

"Tony, please stop." She said, after a while. She looked up and emphasized every word. "There was nothing we could have done."

He didn't answer; he just sat down beside her, and matched her position with his head in his hands. "How did this happen?" He said again; this time actually wanting an answer to it.

"I do not know," Ziva answered honestly. "But it happened, and there is nothing we could have done-" she repeated before he interrupted her.

"That's where you're wrong!" Tony interrupted. "I could've said no. You're amazing, you could've handled those suspects… we had a plan, and it was my turn to stay home with her!"

Ziva couldn't say anything. Because she didn't think this was _just_ Tony's fault, it was hers too. Mostly hers; she knew she could've handled those guys with a little more coffee, but she still called Tony for help. For once she asked herself why she was so _selfish_. She had only been thinking about herself and how she couldn't do it alone, while Emma was the one who had needed protection and she had been left alone.

They both sighed and looked away from each other. They both blamed themselves, so they didn't want to look the other one in the eye and face the guilt that was there.

Another long while passed. They weren't sure if it was a minute, or an hour, but after long enough time had passed a door opened and a young doctor came out. He looked around in the empty waiting room and said – like there was someone else but Tony and Ziva there -, "Family of Emma Moore?"

Both Tony and Ziva had already fixated their eyes on the doctor, and were now in front of him ready to milk him for information. Tony already had his hand at his badge, ready to flash it as many times as needed. But Ziva was still the first to speak, and said; "Ziva David. How is she?"

The doctor looked at her, before he decided to be difficult and asked, "May I ask how you are related to the girl?"

Ziva was taken aback, because of all the things she had considered that the doctor may ask of her, this wasn't one of them. She didn't know how to answer the doctor, so Tony replied for her, "They're – _we're_ - not related."

"So neither of you two are related to Ms. Moore?" The doctor asked Tony, and he could only shake his head. "Where are her parents?"

"They're dead." Ziva replied plainly. Her face was lost from any expression.

"Are there any other relatives that are close and, or, available?" The doctor tried again. He wasn't giving up.

"What is this about, doctor?" Tony asked, with a tone that was not to mess with.

"Well since you're not related to the girl, and it seems like you're not on her emergency contact list either, I can't let you in to see her, or release any information about her condition." The doctor looked down at the thin chart about Emma Moore in his hands, and Ziva was very serious about ripping his head out.

"Excuse me?" Since Ziva's self-control was loosening a little, Tony suddenly feared for the doctor.

"These are rules and we are very strict with them when the children are involved."

"She is not a child!" Ziva said. She raised her voice because there weren't any other people in the waiting room, and she simply didn't feel friendly enough to let the doctor get as he wanted it.

"But she is under 18," The doctor pointed out, and looked at the chart again, to make sure he was giving them the right information. "And it seems like she has got only one on her emergency list. Her brother, Keith Moore."

"He is in _Sweden_, for heaven's sake!" Ziva yelled. "She has NO ONE else but us! You have to let us in!" Tony touched her arm to get her to calm down, to keep her form keep going. She looked at him, and softened on the inside. She stepped back a little, to let him handle it, because she didn't want to be taken from the case because of a dead doctor.

"We're taking care of her while we are investigating her father's death. We are with the NCIS." He showed the doctor his badge, and pulled back his coat a little to let the doctor get a good look at his service gun. "Let us in, and spare the pain of getting paralyzed."

The doctor choked a little when he saw the gun holster, and what it contained. He closed the chart nervously; it was his first time actually working with an agent of any kind. He gave in. "All right. Ms. Moore is in the ICU, but will soon be moved into a room." He said. "Just wait another half hour, and I'll come back and take you to see her."

* * *

><p>Two hours later, Tony and Ziva were finally taken to see Emma. They rushed into the room that was signed to her – number 134 -, and saw Emma. They were both taken aback.<p>

Her face was bruised, her lips cracked in several places. She had a cut on the side of her face made by a knife; those were the injuries they could _see_. The pair stood and looked at her, in shock. They knew it had been bad, but not this bad; they had never thought she would be chained to all those machines, they hadn't expected all those different beepings.

In the middle of the silence the young doctor from earlier came into the room, to tell them Emma's condition. He looked at their backs, expecting them to actually turn their head and look at him, but they didn't. He sighed loudly, and started. "She had two broken ribs; her left lung had to be repaired It's okay now though, we were never worried about it." He looked down at the chart. "She has a smaller concussion nothing that was too serious in our eyes, and she also has a fracture in her right foot, which is probably the worst injury she got. She has got a lot of bruises and such, but they will heal with time."

"And the cut on the side of her… face?" Ziva asked quietly. "Is it bad?"

"No, it's not deep at all; it doesn't even need any stitches. It was more a slice, than a cut, really." The doctor answered. His voice was shaking, from fear to say something wrong and piss off the agents. Again. "And for her foot, she will have to wear a kind of… bandage the next six weeks, so she won't steady on the foot by mistake or so, and she'll get crutches if it's needed. She was very lucky."

Ziva nodded, even though she didn't agree one bit. What did Emma possibly have to be lucky about? She had been beaten unconscious and left on a parking lot.

The doctor left the room – in a hurry -, and Ziva went to sit beside Emma's bed. She considered grabbing the teenagers hand, but didn't. This was _her_ fault, and Emma probably wouldn't want her to touch her. Tony sat down in a chair beside the door, and saw as the wall between him and Ziva grew even more. Since Emma came to move in with them, the wall had only grown; from being apart from each other too long and from not having a decent conversation in several days.

Before Emma, there hadn't been a wall, it just hadn't been there, because they talked so often that it was almost desperate, and they spent most of their awake hours together, as the night hours. Now it was just the night hours they were together, and they were spent sleeping away their exhaustion.

Tony looked at the window, and he stared into the night. It was dark and peaceful. Nothing showed that someone's life had changed. The sky looked the same as it always did this time of the 24-hour period. Black, far away and endless. He shot a look at Emma. He knew that from now on, nothing would be the same again. She would have to be more protected than ever, she wouldn't even be allowed to go to the bathroom without a guard. She was probably going to protest, tell them she was perfectly fine. That she should be able to call a friend. They'd have to say no. It wasn't true, she wasn't perfectly fine. She was broken goods, she was alone. She was hurt.

He stood up and walked out from the room.

* * *

><p>Ziva heard the door close, and figured Tony must have left the room. She didn't turn her head to make sure, she just let her eyes rest on the face that belonged to Emma. The one she was supposed to protect. The girl hadn't said anything since they came. She had only looked at them desperately and hoped for them to wake her; to take her away from the hospital and assure her of her safety.<p>

Ziva knew she had to stop beating up herself about it, but it seemed like the guilt wouldn't leave her mind, and the fact that she was the one who made Emma alone. She was positive that if she had picked herself up and interrogated those guys alone, without calling Tony, this wouldn't have happened. Not that the suspects had given them anything that would help them, they had been brought in totally unnecessarily. That somehow made her mad, and she wanted to kick someone unconscious.

"I'm sorry." Emma whispered. Ziva was surprised by her voice, but she still asked,

"Why are you sorry?"

Emma sighed, and grabbed Ziva's hand. She needed some comfort, and maybe by holding the warm hand Ziva possessed, could make her feel better.

Ziva was comforted too. That the hand she was now clutching was warm, instead of cold. That she was alive, and not dead.

Ziva took her other hand, and let her fingers slide down the scar on the side of Emma's pretty face. It was an obvious truth staring at them all; Emma was alone.

Maybe she wouldn't be lonely forever. She would probably meet some boy that she'd fall in love with, and maybe they'd get married and have kids, but the memory of these events would forever haunt her, following her like a loyal dog. Except these memories weren't as lovely as a dog, they were in the category of nightmares.

Ziva sat beside Emma the rest of the night, keeping an eye on her. And she never left Emma's hand alone.

She fell asleep there. Beside the girl who she now saw herself in. As the broken teenager she had been all those years ago, when her sister had died. When her mother had died. When she had been putting her life into the Mossad training. She didn't want that for the young girl, and she was going to do everything in her power to change that.

* * *

><p>He was at the airport, chewing on his midnight sandwich he'd unfortunately had been forced to buy at the closest convenience store on his way there. He had been damned when the plane from to Washington had been delayed, because of the weather in New York, and he could have taken the extra five minutes to make his own sandwich. He also couldn't understand even a little bit why it was necessary for him to make a stop in New York, but then he remembered that those were the cheapest tickets he could find that would leave already the next day, and he decided not to complain. He was happy to be where he was at all.<p>

He was already checked in, and his overflowing and ultra-heavy bag wasn't with him anymore; he felt quite happy with himself. He looked forward to coming back to the US; even though he would miss Sweden. But he would definitely come back.

"Flygningen till New York är snart redo för start. Passagerare, förflytta er till utgång sex." A woman over the speakers said. He was proud to say that he could almost understand everything she said, but was still happy when she repeated it in English.

"The flight to New York is soon ready for take-off. Passengers, please go to gate six."

_I'll see you soon, Emma._

* * *

><p><strong>I am in LONDON! Heck yes. Updating from there. Awesomeness all around.<strong>

**Reviews are always appreciated.**_  
><em>


	6. Keep on bringing me down

**Chapter 6: Keep on bringing me down**

White bright light. No white bright light. White bright light. No white bright light.

Emma opened and closed her eyes for the first time in over thirty-six hours. The brightness of the world wasn't the most pleasant thing right now. Her head was slowly killing her from the inside and she was sore. _Everywhere_. She tried to sigh, but the pain overtook her and she whined in pain instead. She considered turning her head and see if anyone was there, but since it hurt by just looking up, she didn't even want to think about the pain she would possess after moving the throbbing head of hers a little to the side.

So instead she closed her eyes and tried to listen after someone. She heard a lot of things, but none of the things were familiar or nice. Beepings everywhere around her didn't help her headache and the shouting from the people outside her room wasn't helping either. She wondered for a second what they were shouting about, but then she decided that she simply didn't care.

She tried to fall asleep again – since it seemed like that was the only thing that was totally pain-free. Just as she was five seconds from her happy place, she thought about what had happened to her, and why she was so sore and plugged to so many machines, and she couldn't help but stay awake. She opened her eyes again, and the light hit her like a brick wall, but she didn't close them again because she was worried.

Why was she there? Why didn't she remember anything? Where was Ziva?

Soon all the questions overtook her and pushed her into a light sleeping state. She wasn't in pain anymore, so she really didn't want to wake up again. But after an hour or so, a door – her door - opened and closed, and footsteps were heard; coming towards her. A chair, that close to her, was moved, and someone sat down. Emma wished so badly that it was Ziva.

She opened her eyes again and looked to the side, and there she was. _Ziva._

"Oh, Emma. You are finally awake! You certainly made us all worried." The familiar voice calmed Emma so much, that she didn't remember the questions she had thought about earlier. She smiled and was just about to state that she was – in fact – awake, when Ziva said, "I am so sorry, Emma."

She was confused. "Why?"

"This is my fault you are here." Ziva said. She didn't look miserable or horrified about it, just sad.

And it was then Emma really realized, she didn't remember anything _at all_. Earlier she had just thought that she didn't remember because she was groggy and tired, and because she didn't try to remember. But now, even when she forced herself to go through everything she could remember from a couple of days ago, she couldn't. "Why am I here?" She needed to know.

"You do not remember?" Ziva asked, and Emma didn't know how to respond. Had she been attacked? Why? What had she done?

"Well, obviously." She felt more awake now than she had ever before, and she wasn't about to fall asleep again before she knew the whole truth; throbbing head or no throbbing head.

"Well," Ziva said, and straightened up in the chair; ready to come up with anything to talk about but the attack. "It's normal to not remember."

"Remember what?"

"A trauma."

Emma felt dizzy. Was she supposed to remember something? Was she letting someone down by not giving answers? "What trauma? Ziva, what's going on?"

"I don't know if I should tell you or not."

Emma's eyes grew in anger. She wanted to scream and punch something, because now she was being treated like she was five years old. She didn't like this, and she was going to argue and be difficult until she had her answers. "Tell me!"

Tony came inside the room, he heard Emma practically shout 'tell me', and he drew his own conclusions to what was going on. He grabbed the chair beside the door and went to seat himself beside Ziva. She hadn't been taking care of herself since Emma got hurt, and he was worried she would have some kind of melt down is Emma started to press her for the truth. He looked at Ziva, and waited for her to turn her head and look at him, but she didn't. She wasn't talking to him, and because of that, the wall was growing between them and he couldn't ignore it anymore. He couldn't look another way, because there it was, right in between them. In the way and ruining them. So, he said, not caring that Emma was in the same room, "We need to talk."

"I know." Ziva replied, not looking away from Emma; the only thing she had been paying attention too lately.

"No I mean, really talk. You have to look me in the eyes and tell me the truth with decent answers." he tried again.

"Tell me what you want to tell me Tony, but I will not leave this room."

"Ziva! I can take care of myself!" Emma said loudly. A little tired of her now.

"Well, if you could you would not be here right now."

"Oh, so you're blaming me for this now?"

"Emma…" Tony said uncomfortably. "Ziva, let's get some coffee."

"I just had some."

Tony was getting angrier and angrier, but wouldn't let it show. He just stood up and grabbed her arm, and pulled her up from her seat. "Well, I haven't. And I can't find it myself." She looked up at him, and she was furious. But he just had to pull her arm a little more, and they would be out of there. They would give Emma a moment to breathe.

She followed him outside without a struggle, even though he knew that she was considering knocking him unconscious. Though he knew she would never do that to _him._

They walked a little, to get further away from Emma's room, and when Tony though that the distance between them and her was good enough, he said with the calmest voice he could muster, "Why are you pushing me away? Why aren't you talking to me? And why are you only leaving that room when you have too? Why have you been ignoring me? Honestly, you're not even trying to convince me that this isn't my fault-"

"Because it's mine." She interrupted, her voice a mere whisper, but still loud enough for him to hear. "Tony, I… We have been braking one of Gibbs's most important rules, and I know it is hard for him to let us brake it so maybe we-"

"Oh, honestly, Ziva? You're pushing me away because of _Gibbs_?"

"No I am just—"

"Okay, maybe this can be called as overreaction, but we both know _this_-" He pointed at himself, and then at her to make his point even clearer. "-is not working. Maybe we should just… take a break from each other?" Tony said, and the hurt his heart was feeling was too much and he looked away from her. He didn't want them to take a break; he wanted them to stay together. He felt better when she was around, he always did. He wanted to take back the words, he was already regretting them. He wanted to tell her that he didn't mean it, but it seemed like those words didn't want to be said, and he stayed silent. Because deep down he knew that a break, was just what they needed, whether they liked it or not.

Ziva felt the tears once again. It had been a feeling she had felt much too often since she came home from Somalia, but she had ignored it, telling herself what a child she was by crying. She closed her eyes and forced back the tears harshly, they weren't allowed to appear. She heard Tony sigh a heavy sigh, before he said. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"Maybe you're right." The words killed Ziva and the tears tried to escape again, but she held her eyes shut, in an attempt to not look at him. "We… We need some time. To think about, things."

Tony felt empty. He left their spot in the corridor without a word, or a glance. Because he had genuinely thought that she would resist, that she would fight for them to stay together. He hadn't waited for her to agree with him; which he barely did himself. He didn't know what to do, else than walk away. He ignored the sinking feeling his chest had; he would just walk away. Through those hospital doors and drive somewhere where he didn't have to face anyone but himself in the mirror.

He bumped into Gibbs as he subconsciously hurried for the exit, and the first thing Gibbs asked was, "Why're you leavin'?"

Tony didn't know how to reply, so he just stared at his boss. He was lost for anything and everything to say.

"Answer me, DiNozzo."

Tony mentally shook himself. _Come up with something. Now._ "I was… er... hungry so I thought that I'd go to the cafeteria and get something to… eat" He stumbled on his words as he lied.

"Rule number 7, DiNozzo." Gibbs said, and continued with, "And you know, the cafeteria is that way." He pointed in the direction Tony's back was facing. So, he tried again, "Why are you leaving?"

"Ziva and I had a… fight. Sort of." He said truthfully. "Well, not fight but we kinda… broke up?"

Gibbs didn't answer right away; he just stared at Tony in silence. Then, when he felt that he'd built up the tension long enough, he started with, "You broke up, when I let you break rule 12?"

Tony nodded for a reply, before he walked past Gibbs and out the exit. He didn't really want to listen to Gibbs lection of how lucky he was of having Ziva and that he should overlook the situation they had because braking up with her wasn't going to make anything easier for her or him. And he was only ruining his chances to a happy life by letting her go and that she had no problem to find someone else before he figured he loved her more than anything else and that he needed her and _blah, blah, blah_. He knew all of that, he didn't need anyone telling him about something he knew better than _anything_ else.

He opened the doors and walked out and noticed the sky was grey; it looked like it was going to rain. It fit his mood perfectly well, so he wasn't going to complain. He walked slowly to his car and stepped inside of it. He sat there in the driver's seat until he saw the small raindrops hitting the window in front of him.

* * *

><p>Ziva was wordless. If Emma hadn't been in the same room as her, she would have cried. And even though Emma was <em>supposedly<em> asleep, she couldn't be sure. She had taken a pretty long while to come back to Emma after her and Tony's… talk, and when she had finally reached Emma's room, she was sound asleep. But Ziva wasn't going to take any chances, before she knew it she could be seen weak in front of the girl she was supposed to be strong for. Her eyes stayed closed so the tears wouldn't betray her, as they had done too many times the past months.

Suddenly she heard the door open and close, and her head jerked up faster than it ever had. Gibbs stood there, and looked down at her. She tried to smile and say 'hi', but her face and her voice wasn't going to cooperate. Also, she was afraid that if she had her mouth and her eyes at the same time, she would be there, crying. Gibbs sat down in the chair Tony had been sitting in only moments before, and Ziva wanted to push him away, because that was Tony's chair, no one else could sit there but Tony.

"Ziver…"

She closed her eyes. "Hi Gibbs." She replied weakly. She wanted to pick herself up and look Gibbs in the eyes, because this was her Father figure, and he had always been there for her. It wasn't much to ask her to look at him; but then again, he wasn't. But if she felt bad about showing weakness to Gibbs – who was her _Father figure, _for heaven's sake. He was the one who possessed the shoulder she'd been crying on so many times – who would ever know the pain she felt? She needed to get away from there, to get out her feelings. Her tears.

"Can you watch Emma for a while; I need to... get some coffee." She seriously just lied to him. She knew it would be no difference if she lied or not, because Gibbs could see straight through her. But still, she felt better if she wasn't fully honest with him.

"Sure" Gibbs answered, deciding not to argue with her. And Ziva didn't wait a second too long before she stood up and hurried out of the room.

While she walked towards the closest bathroom, she let one tear escape, but she wiped away it before it was noticed by anybody but herself.

The pictures of Tony popped into her head as she turned around and turned the lock on the door. She sat down on the toilet seat; in the darkness.

Why had she just let him go? Why wasn't she able to keep anyone in her life for a moment longer? A moment longer so she could tell them how much they actually meant to her? How much she actually loved them and didn't want them to go.

That was just an ability she simply didn't have.

* * *

><p>He had woken up a few hours before. He didn't know exactly how many hours he'd been sleeping, but he knew that he had been jetlagged enough to sleep for over 12 hours. He was now unpacking his heavy suitcase into the wardrobe in the average sized hotel room. He was glad his job was paying him so good, or he wouldn't be able to afford it. He tucked a pair of extra shoes into the bottom of the wardrobe and closed the doors.<p>

He had already placed his toothbrush into a cup in the small bathroom, and he'd hung the towels that had been placed on the bed on the hangers beside the shower, and he'd checked what channels he could watch on the cable TV. He was quite happy about the room, really. He threw himself onto the bed and closed his eyes; but he wasn't even a little tired. He opened them again. He couldn't sleep anymore, he was worried. About her.

He stood up again and headed for the phone that was on the small desk. It was placed beside the notepad with the Hotel's logo, and the matching pens. He picked up the phone and put it to his ear while he typed the correct numbers. A few beeps, and then a voice.

"This is the Naval Criminal Investigative Service. I'm Kayley, how may I help you?"

"Yes, I'm looking for a…" He pulled out the note from his back pocket and repeated the name into the phone, "Special Agent DiNozzo?"

"Could you say your name, please?"

"Keith Moore, I'm a... I believe he expects me to contact him." He replied, not totally truthful.

"Oh. Okay, well, you would like me to give you the number to his team leader, yes?"

"I take anything I can get."


	7. Open your eyes

**Chapter 7: Open your eyes**

"You're kidding?" Emma said. She was sitting up in her bed, trying hard not to move her head because of her concussion – which was as good as healed, really, but Ziva was being difficult about it and wanted her to be still. She who had just told Emma what had happened to her, and she certainly wasn't pleased with the truth being thrown in her face. "Why?" Emma didn't sound sad, she didn't even sound as if she was going to cry, she sounded mad. Really mad.

"I don't know." Ziva replied, shrugging her shoulders slightly. "It is very strange, but I promise you that we will catch whoever did this."

"You've told me that several times, but you're still here. Shouldn't you be working?"

"Gibbs said I was not allowed to leave you."

"Oh God" Emma sighed. "I feel like a child; I don't need anyone to watch me!"

Ziva smiled a little, but not much. "I know it cannot be so pleasant, but you can always think; it could have been worse."

"I honestly can't see how it could be any worse." Emma said, and laughed, but whined in pain. The pain she always possessed was pissing her off. She was never alone, she was always bored, she couldn't call her best friend, she was bored, she hadn't been talking to anyone else but Ziva and Gibbs, and she was bored!

Well, she had only been awake one day, but she had been at the hospital in three. But then again, she had always been easily bored and she had never been this long without seeing Jessica – her fabulous best friend. "Can I call her, Ziva? Please?" This wasn't the first time she had been begging about it like a baby. She hadn't seen Jessica in over a week, and she usually saw her almost every day. It was strange for her.

"No, you cannot. I am sorry Emma, but it might put you in danger."

"A phone call? Honestly?"

"Whoever wants to kill you is a professional, and we will not take any chances." Ziva replied. Emma choked on the reply she was going to give. She hadn't told anyone about the call to her brother the nights she was attacked, even though that was the only thing she _clearly_ remembered. But now she was wondering if maybe that was what had caused her suffering.

"Do you want anything to eat?" Ziva asked.

"No." And this was not the first time since she had 'moved in' with Ziva she wished she could run out the door and get away from her. She liked Ziva, very much too, she couldn't have gotten a better 'fake-mom', but sometimes, she wanted to escape. Far away, where she could be alone with herself. But now she was like glued to a bed, unable to move or even to turn her head. She felt helpless, which she was.

"Emma, I know you may not like how everything is right now, but you have to understand that we are doing this for your own good." Ziva said. She had been trying to press the same words into Emma before, to get them to sink in. It didn't seem to work. Ziva made a mental note to herself to talk to Abby about Emma; she knew much more about teenagers than she did herself.

Emma wanted to be cheeky, but rather so, she ignored Ziva. After a while in the uncomfortable silence that had appeared more often lately, she said, "I haven't seen Tony tonday. Or yesterday after he left, where is he?"

Ziva sighed, she shouldn't tell Emma, this was extremely personal, but sometimes she thought that this girl was more experienced in the field than she was. She sighed _again_, which wasn't very normal for her. "We are having some… problems."

"Problems?" Emma said, this couldn't be good. Her Tony, and her Ziva were fighting. Not good at all. "Why? What happened? Whose fault is it?"

"Emma, I will take care of it by myself-"

"You know you're no good at that." Emma replied and smiled a huge smile, even though she was actually a little sad about them having a rough phase. "So, tell me! I'm so bored, and you owe me that much."

"Well, I must admit, I may not be the best when it comes to these things. But I do not owe you, you owe me." Ziva said. She tried very hard not to smile.

"Whatever. Please? Gimme something!"

"I think it was my fault." Ziva replied, sadly.

Gibbs, McGee and Tony were standing in front of the plasma in the bullpen, watching pictures of dead Commander Eric Moore, and his information. No one was saying anything, they just stared. Maybe they were thinking, thinking hard and hoping, praying to find something. At least Tony was. The first movement in fifteen minutes was McGee returning to his desk. The next was Gibbs moving himself to MTAC. Tony didn't move, he had it clear to everyone that he was the one to find the one who had caused all this trouble.

He tried to tie the things together. They hadn't gotten any further on the case, no suspects or anything since the guys from New York came in. They hadn't figured out anything about the time when Commander Moore was away from work and what he did while he was under the influence of LSD.

McGee looked up from his computer, and looked back at it as he said. "No matter how hard you think about it, Tony, the killer won't come her by himself. Get to work!" He felt cranky. He had been working harder on this case than any case before, and he was tired.

Tony ignored him. He was going to get the answers.

Another fifteen minutes passed, before he said slowly; "There's no such thing as coincidences."

"Yeah, I know Tony." McGee said, not paying much attention. He was checking the Commanders service records, bank records, phone records, really, all his records, once again. He was sure they had missed something.

"There's no such thing as coincidences." Tony said again, and a smile spread on his lips. He ran to his desk. "There's no such thing as coincidences."

"Tony, honestly, when did you become a fan of repeating things? I thought you found that extremely annoying?"

"McGoo, I found something!"

With that, McGee was paying full attention. He made a face that screamed, 'TELL. ME.' And surely, Tony did.

"Someone is trying to kill Emma! Well, it's really obvious, and we all know it's a really bad thing, but it's true." Tony said, and McGee looked at him with questions in his eyes. "Okay look, remember the first day, when Emma's house exploded? Yeah, if she hadn't heard the ticking, she would've died. And then, she was attacked, and if she would've been found just a while later, she'd be dead now. See McGee? Commander Moore made someone so mad that this someone is still trying to punish Moore in his grave, by killing his daughter."

"She's not dead yet." McGee pointed out. "And it's sounds true but… who would he have pissed off so badly?"

"I don't know McGee, but you better find out. They haven't succeeded with killing her yet, and I bet they're gonna try until she's really dead, and we can't let that happen, we gotta find some evidence."

"Yeah, I know. But we've been searching for evidence the past week, and we haven't found anything."

"Have you searched for evidence in Ziva's apartment?" Tony asked. McGee looked at him as if he was stupid, and said:

"Of course we did."

"Did you check the door handle? The attackers' fingerprints may be there."

"Of course we did, Tony. It's standard."

"Well, do it again!"

McGee shook his head, before he grabbed his gear and went to the elevator. And when the elevator door closed, Tony was smiling brightly. What he had found may not have been very significant, but at least it was something. But then he remembered, someone had to tell Ziva about this. And Gibbs would probably make him do it. He sighed deeply, and went back to work, hoping to find something else.

"You let him leave?" Emma said, she wished she could scream a little louder. "I know you're smart Ziva, but when you let him leave you lost your brain!"

"I know I-"

"And you told him he was RIGHT? That you should take a break! That's a whole new level of _wrong_!" Emma said, trying to raise her voice a little more. "You guys need to talk, and that's soon too! Call him right away and tell him you love him!"

"But Emma, I am not even-" Ziva would make sure that she wouldn't me forced to do something by a _teenager._

"Do it!" Emma demanded. She liked being the one to demand for a change. "If you wait it's just gonna get worse between you."

Ziva laughed a little, "Maybe you are right, I do love him."

Emma would've nodded, but she did only smile a huge smile. They were going to be okay, she was sure.

Tony wasn't going to let Gibbs force him to tell Ziva, so he thought it would be more comfortable if he made himself go. Actually, he wanted to stay at the base to wait for McGee, but Abby and he could call him if they found something, he knew. He decided to drive slowly to the hospital, not that it worked very well. His car wasn't going to cooperate, so he drove faster and faster. And sooner than he really wanted, she stood outside Emma's room, staring at the numbers on it. His hand was on the way to the door handle to open the door, but before he had reached it, the door opened and he faced Ziva. She was wearing different clothes from when he last saw her; her hair was in a ponytail, and she was wearing a white long sleeved t-shirt and jeans. And he had never thought she was more beautiful.

She held her phone in her right hand.

"Hello Tony." She started, "I was just about to call you." She held up her phone like it was proof.

"I was just about to… talk to you." Tony replied, and the awkwardness between them grew.

"About... what?" Ziva asked.

"About Emma. I found something, or actually two things but the other thing is more like a question that I asked McGee, but if that question works it's gonna be great. McGee's handling it for me right now, and he should be calling me right-" He looked at his watch "soon."

"What did you make poor McGee do?" Ziva asked, and smiled. She was amused by this.

"Look for fingerprints on your door handle… and while he's there he'll probably check your whole apartment... the attacker maybe left a fingerprint…"

"They did not check the door handle?" Ziva asked in surprise, they usually never missed anything.

"They _did_… but I told him to do it again. They might've missed it before…" Tony said, trying to hide the uncomfortable feeling he had. He was sure that soon they would both realize they needed to talk about their relationship, and that wasn't a conversation he was looking forward too.

"I know."

Silence.

He broke it.

"Honestly Ziva, I didn't mean those things I said the other day… 30 hours ago in fact but…"

"I did not mean it either, that you were right because I don't think you are right. I don't want to take a break; I want to be with you. And I am sorry that I hurt you and I am sorry about the way I treated you. And I was not pushing you away because of Gibbs' rule, because that would be the last reason for me to push you away. And you did not overreact because you were right." Ziva said, interrupting him. She felt a lot better inside after she had said that, and she had the feeling that they would be all right. She was sure of it, or maybe she was just hoping too much. But she ignored the other option, and waited for Tony to answer.

"It's okay though, I think I understand why you were feeling like that, you felt responsible for Emma being hurt and-"

"But I should not have let the guilt ruin what we had, that was wrong. It was so very wrong, and I am _so_ sorry." She interrupted him again.

"Stop apologizing Ziva-"

"This time I don't care what Gibbs's rule says, you deserve my apologies… you need to hear them."

"I forgive you. I still stand by what I said in Somalia, I can't live without you. And even if I tried the hardest, I can't. And I hate when we fight, it makes me miserable." Tony said and smiled.

"Me too. It actually was Emma who made me realize that I love you too much to let you go."

After that she had said that, Tony kissed her. For the first time in a week, they kissed each other. A real kiss, not just a fast one that would be forgotten the next second, but a passionate one. In the middle of the hospital corridor, with people passing by all the time, and despite that, it felt like they were the only ones there, and it felt like there was no problems in the whole world.

A while later, when Tony was on his way to the NCIS headquarters again, his phone ringed. He picked it up and studied the number, to see if he could recognize it. He didn't, but answered anyway.

"Special Agent DiNozzo."

"Hello, Agent DiNozzo. Er… I'm Keith Moore. I believe you are in charge of my sister since our dad died. She called me a couple of days ago, and when the call ended it sounded very… strange. She was screaming, and I got worried."

Tony didn't miss the part where Keith told him that Emma had called him. "Mr. Moore… your sister was attacked. She's in the hospital right now."

"Oh God…" Keith said. In his Hotel he pulled a hand through his hair before he said, "Which hospital? I took the first flight back to D.C after out call, and I'm at the Harrington."

"Bethesda." Tony replied simply. Keith told him 'thank you', and hung up.


	8. No sensitivity

**Chapter 8: No sensitivity **

"Tony!"

"Yes, McGoo?"

"You were right."

"Of course I was… but could you specify what I was right about this time?"

"There was a fingerprint we missed. It wasn't on the doorknob though."

"Where was it then?"

"On the cellphone."

"On the phone?"

"Yes. I was just about to get back here when you called me and told me that Emma called her brother before she was attacked. And I thought, that it was a little bit weird since Keith had heard her be attacked and that she could have by no means but the phone back in the charger by herself, so I thought that maybe the attacker did it."

"_And?_"

"He did."

* * *

><p>"Emma, where are you crutches?" Ziva asked when she came into Emma's hospital room. It was finally time for her to leave, and she was very happy. Except about the crutches. She had tried to hide them from Ziva, so she wouldn't have to bring them with her; but then again, she hadn't really tried to walk without them yet. And according to the doctor, she couldn't <em>not<em> use them.

"Ziv_aaa_…" Emma complained. "I don't need them; I can walk without them, perfectly well, thank you very much."

"This is most definitely not up for discussion, Emma. You are going to use the crutches for as long as you have to and need to, and you will not hide them, ever again." She said the last part while taking out the crutches from their hiding place in the small bathroom. Emma was genuinely surprised that she had known just like that where they had been, but then again she was a ninja.

"I will use them, but only because you have scared the heck out of me." Emma used emphasis on 'heck'. But Emma couldn't wait to get home. All her scars were just fine, they didn't hurt or anything, they only left bright red marks on her skin. Her concussion was all healed. But there was one scar that was still fully visible, the cut on the side of her face. She had been told that it would be there longer than the others; it could take months before it disappeared, and when it had disappeared, it would still be seen. It would always be there. She hadn't gotten used to it yet, but Tony had tried to assure her that she would. Soon it would be as natural to her as her left hand. She wasn't convinced.

And her ribs were healing, slowly but they were healing. The doctor had told her it would be as good as new in a couple of weeks. As for her foot, it would take a long time before it was fully healed. Several weeks. But even when she looked at her injuries, Emma couldn't understand why Ziva was being so protective.

"She's right though, Emma" Tony said in Ziva's defense. He'd been sitting in a chair while talking quietly on the phone with McGee. "You should use the crutches, don't take any chances. One fall can ruin everything."

"Thanks Tony. First you're okay with me not using them, and now you're taking Ziva's side. Just great."

Ziva had taken the responsibility to stay home with Emma, to take care of her, while Tony was the one working. He wasn't going to be working as much as he had done before though; he would make sure he'd be home for dinner at least, so he could spend some time with the small family they had created together. But every day he had to remind himself of the fact that it wouldn't always be like this, when the case was solved Emma was going into a foster family, or worse, an orphanage. She couldn't stay with them, he knew that. And that made him very sad. He wasn't sure if he would actually be able to tell it to himself, but she loved Emma as his own daughter, and no one would ever be able to take her place in his heart. And it had to be real fatherly love he possessed for her since he felt it after just a couple of weeks.

Emma sighed and looked to the side at the picture on the ugly hospital-nightstand. The picture had a snow white frame. In that, someone (Emma suspected Abby) had placed a picture of her father. It was a happy picture, he was smiling and his eyes sparkled of joy. It was exactly the way Emma wanted to remember her father. She smiled back at him in the picture.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Both Tony and Ziva looked at it, and expected Gibbs or Abby, or even McGee. Instead – though they didn't know it – they saw Keith Moore. He was a handsome boy in his early twenties. His hair was blonde, but he and Emma had the same eyes and mouth (and also, they had the same, crooked pinkies). His hair was cut in a way, that it covered his left eye if he wanted it to. But now though, he had it combed to the side. He was wearing a brown jacket and normal clothes for a guy like him; t-shirt and jeans. "Emma!" He exclaimed.

Emma was speechless, and she looked like she wanted to cry. There was no one she had missed as much as she had missed her brother, and she couldn't help but let a small tear fall from her eye. Then she shouted his name, and he came to embrace her. Tony and Ziva watched in surprise the pair. They both realized then, of course, who he was.

Emma pulled away from him a moment, and said. "I've missed you so much! Why are you here?" She sobbed out, sounding both happy, and sad.

"My baby sister was in danger, how could I stay in Europe? Also, I couldn't let you go into a foster home!"

Emma laughed, and sobbed, and both at the same time. She dried her tears and hugged him again. Tight. She didn't want him to ever leave again. He was her savior.

* * *

><p>Keith was invited by Ziva to join them to her apartment. The whole car ride, Emma was very excited and told her brother everything. And she asked him questions about Sweden, and if Swedish was hard, and if he had a girlfriend yet, and if he was going to stay long. He answered everything truthfully; that Swedish was hard, and that he didn't have a girlfriend yet, and that he didn't know how long he was going to stay. That last answer did shut up poor Emma for a while, but soon she was asking him another question.<p>

When they reached the apartment, she showed him her room. It was a very nice room now. Abby had been there to help her decorate it a little, because she hadn't liked the emptiness of it before. But now it was really like a teenager's _room._ The walls were nicely papered with posters of her favorite bands and movies. Some of her favorite books were stuffed in the small bookshelf, and Abby had taken pictures of the team, and put them in frames and she had placed them on the drawer in the corner. There was a gap in the middle of the pictures, where the picture of her dad was supposed to be.

But Emma's favorite picture was the one with the team. Tony and Ziva were in the middle, standing beside each other. Tony had his left arm swung over Ziva's shoulder, and his right over Abby's. Gibbs was standing beside McGee and Ducky, and in the side of the picture Palmer was standing. She smiled when she first saw the picture, and she promised herself to always have it with her, as a reminder of how wonderful things can become.

Abby had also put in a stationary computer on the desk, so she wouldn't die of boredom. Watching TV 24/7 isn't so very fun when everything comes around. She was now also owning Abby's old stereo, and a lot of new CD:s.

Keith liked her room. Especially the 'Slumdog Millionaire' poster that was on the inside of her door. For some reason that was his favorite movie and that was also the reason Emma had it there in the first place. She also had a crumpled picture of Keith and her on her nightstand. It was an old picture though, she had been 11 when it was taken, and he was 20. But it was a picture of them, nevertheless, and she kept it with her at almost all times.

After a while, Keith left her room to talk with Tony and Ziva, and Emma slowly sat down on her bed and looked around in the room. Her eyes went from the window to the door. She knew that this was not going to be here forever. She was going to be taken by the Child Services; she would be dragged away from the fairytale she had been living in. She had been forced to change her life when her father died, and it was going to change again too soon.

"Are we getting anywhere with the case?" Ziva asked Tony, while he was putting plates on the table and she was finishing the dinner. Keith was in the bathroom, and that was why she felt like asking about the case openly.

"The prints are still running through AFIS. Abby is gonna call when we get a match." Tony replied, as he sat down in his chair at the dining table. He had stopped worrying about the case as much as he had done before; Ziva was home with Emma, so she couldn't be hurt. "I just want to have this case over."

"Me too," Ziva said as she put the food on the table. "But at the same time I don't want it to end. I don't want to lose Emma, and we will lose her after this case."

"Have you not thought about to adopt her?" Keith asked, he had just come back. He fearlessly continued with the real matter that was bothering him. "That was actually what I came to talk to you about in the first place… y'know, I live in Sweden, and I can't take her there-"

Emma had fallen asleep on the bed. She couldn't help but feel like that was everything she did these days; sleep. She slept so much, that she didn't even understand how she had time for anything else. Maybe it was because she wanted to escape from reality, or maybe it was because she simply was tired of everything. She stood up to go to the kitchen, when something knocked on her window. She turned around to see what it was. She looked out onto the outside world, when suddenly a face appeared in front of her. A man's face, with the same eyes she had seen before. She screamed. Loudly.

Tony, Ziva and Keith ran to her room before they even had thought about anything else, but when they reached the room they only saw Emma. They didn't see a sign of anything that could have made her scream such an icy scream. "What happened?" Tony asked, lowering his gun which he had grabbed on the run to the room.

"I saw him, Tony! H-he was right outside my window." Emma shuttered.

"Are you sure, Emma?" Tony asked, while Ziva went to Emma's side.

"Yes. I… I saw his eyes. I saw… saw his eyes when he attacked me!"

Ziva embraced her and whispered in her ear, "Everything is fine. He is not going to hurt you."

Emma buried her face in Ziva's neck, and cried a few tears for the fear she had felt. But soon she noticed that she couldn't cry anymore. She had cried more these past two weeks than she usually did in a year. She wasn't going to be a baby and cry even more. She dried the few tears that shed, and then she looked at Ziva. She didn't say anything, she just looked at her.

She wasn't sure she actually could believe her anymore. Ziva had assured her so many times that no one was going to hurt her. This night she had seen the man who had almost killed her. They had only had a window between them. She was scared. So scared. Keith was scared too, and came to put an arm around her. He hadn't realized how serious it was until now.

Tony went to call Gibbs to tell him what had happened, and then he examined the window to see if any traces had been left there. "I don't see any evidence of him actually being outside the window. Emma, are you sure you really saw someone. Maybe you were just… hallucinating?"

"I know what I saw, Tony. He was there." Emma answered and turned towards Tony.

He was confused; he looked from Emma to the window, back at Emma and at the window again. "There is no possibility – whatsoever – that he could've settled there. He should've fallen to the ground. He should be dead."

Emma ate in silence that night. She had not quite known how she would react to what Tony had said because she was a 100% sure that she had seen the man on the other side of the window. After what Tony had noticed, no one would believe her. She would just be the teenager who hallucinated a man who wanted to murder her.

Tony and Ziva exchanged glances in silence. They were worried about Emma, but neither the one nor the other knew if they would or wouldn't believe her. She had been through a lot recently and it would probably just be normal if she hallucinated about what had hurt her.

The embarrassing silence continued for several minutes until Emma got up, took her plate and put it in the sink and jumped on one leg to the living room. Usually, she would probably go to her room, but she had a sort of horror of the place she loved. Instead of closing the door behind herself and be alone in the pleasant light the lamp gave away, she sat on the couch in front of TV and watched old episodes of FRIENDS. She didn't know why she did it. She didn't even like FRIENDS.

She fell asleep on the couch. She doesn't usually fall asleep on the couch, but when she did, she always found herself in her own bed. But this time she woke up on the couch. She was sure that Tony intended to carry her to her bed but he was afraid to hurt her more than she already was damaged. Or maybe he was just afraid of scaring her, because after what she had seen, she'd probably scream, and it was probably something he didn't want.

But Emma found herself alone in the living room when she woke up. Not a sound, not a movement was noticed in the dimly lit room. She didn't hear anything from the kitchen either, but she didn't stand up from the warm little bubble she had under her blanket. But after a while she threw the blanket away from her body and stood up. She walked as stiffly to the kitchen - grabbing onto anything that could give her support -, where Tony and Ziva sat. They had been there all the time, but said nothing.

"Oh." Ziva said, when she noticed Emma. "Good morning."

"Good morning." Tony said, too.

"Good morning." Emma, repeating the words that had been said twice already. "I slept on the couch." she pointed out the obvious while she sat down.

"Yeah, didn't wanna move you" Tony said. "Or Ziva didn't, she just put a blanket on you."

"I noticed" Emma answered, and sat in the chair that had become hers the past two weeks. She took some random breakfast and ate. She didn't want to eat in silence so she said. "What's happening today? And where's Keith?"

"Keith left last night for his hotel, he promised to call though, tonight. And we are going to the NCIS. All three of us." Ziva said, shooting Tony a look that told him that she was serious about it. "Tony and I thought that when you're ready, you could describe the man you saw… to Abby. Maybe we will get some kind of ID, if he was real."

Really, Ziva was lying to her. They had gotten a match to the fingerprints from the cellphone. Errol Moore. Supposedly, he was Emma's uncle. They wanted to take Emma to the NCIS, to see if she could identify him as the man who attacked him, because if she could, they had their man. The only problem was that they had been having a hard time tracing him.

"I know what I saw!" Emma said, saying the same thing as she had last night. "I'm not crazy"

"Emma, I am not saying that you are crazy! I am just saying that it seems a little… unreal." Ziva replied. She didn't look away from Emma; she kept her eyes locked with Emma's.

Emma turned her head away though. She couldn't believe how they didn't believe her. She ate faster and left the table without another word. She needed to freshen up if she was going to the NCIS; but she also wanted away from Tony and Ziva. They were annoying her; especially Ziva.

She showered and put on clothes. She would've worn her jeans, but because of her foot being three times its usual size with the bandage, she could only wear sweats. It was pissing her off – like a hundred other things since the attack – that she was doomed to wear the same pair of pants in six weeks. Well, Ziva had promised her that they could go and buy a few more pairs, so she wouldn't feel so filthy. But Emma didn't know if she wanted to go shopping with Ziva.

* * *

><p>The car ride to the NCIS wasn't completely silent. Emma had understood how Ziva was thinking about that little incident, so when she sat in the back seat she talked a bit with them. Not much, she just commented on something sometimes.<p>

And the huge hug she got from Abby when they were in her lab made her laugh. Tony had apparently called her and told everything and warned her. It was Emma grateful for, she didn't want to explain to Abby about the night before. She just wanted to get this away.

"So, you'll just describe everything you remember and I'll be sketching him here." Abby said and pointed at her computer.

"Okay." Was the only thing Emma said. She didn't start to describe what she remembered; she didn't say anything at all. She just stared at her hands.

Abby waited a minute before she asked "Emma? What's wrong?"

"I'm trying to remember him."

"Was he wearing anything that covered his face or—"

"No. I saw his face."

"Then what's wrong? Do you wanna wait a moment or…?"

"No it's just… now when I really am starting to see his face in front of me I realize that… he looked kind of… like my dad."


	9. You found me

**Chapter 9: You found me**

"Are you sure?" Abby asked Emma. It was the only thing she could force out of herself; she was stunned about what she had just heard.

"Yes, I am sure!" Emma shouted angrily. "Stop asking me that, I'm not crazy!" She felt like a little kid, who everyone had to ask if she was sure, because they didn't believe what she had seen. Actually, she was treated exactly like a kid. She would prefer to have no attention at all than this.

"Sorry, I just had to ask." Abby said, trying to defend herself. She had never seen Emma like this, but she hadn't known her for that long either, so she had good use of this newfound experience. "I'll just call Gibbs-"

"And tell him I think I saw my dead father? And let him make an idiot out of me?" Emma interrupted, still angry, and mad. And her foot was thumping, so that didn't really help.

Abby sighed. She didn't like it when people judged Gibbs before they knew him, and even though Emma had known Gibbs for two weeks it wasn't enough to know that he never made idiots out of teenagers. Abby secretly thought that he was feeling really sorry for Emma, but he wasn't going to show it. Not that Abby didn't get this, she felt terribly sorry for Emma herself, but it was _Gibbs_. "He wouldn't do that." Abby shortened the answer she would've given anyone else. If Emma would have been anyone else she would have gotten a big lesson of Gibbs, and that it's wrong to judge people before you know them.

"Really?" Emma said sarcastically. "Honestly, I don't care what you do. I don't have a say these days."

"Emma…" Abby said, but when she didn't come up with anything comforting to tell her, she just gave her a pained look, and picked up her phone to call Gibbs.

Silence fell over them after Abby had put the phone down again. Even though Abby had always thought that Gibbs came to her lab faster than lightning – sometimes he was a tad slower when he picked up a Caf-Pow for her on the way -, but now she thought it took him several hours. Emma didn't look Abby in the eyes, because as usual; she was tired of her. And people generally. She sighed and shifted a little in her chair.

After what could be considered as minutes, but for them seemed like years, Gibbs reached the lab and Abby was not waiting for any sign from him to begin, but immediately explained why they hadn't gotten a face. When she was done and out of words to use, Gibbs left the lab without giving a word and it did only chock Abby. "I knew it!"

"Knew what?" asked Emma, glad that the silence hadn't continued after the Boss left.

"That he would leave after we told him."

"After _you_ told them." Emma corrected. "I take it as he does it often then?"

"No, not at all, he usually gives me a kiss on the cheek and tells me that I've done a good job, but since I haven't worked at all, then surely it's only normal that I don't get that." Abby explained.

"Oh. Okay." Emma answered simply.

After another moment of silence, Abby got tired of the noiseless lab, since she hadn't put on any music, and she stood up. First she didn't really know why she had done that, she just stood for a while. Emma stared at Abby with an expression on her face that was unreadable. Abby opened her mouth, but when she found nothing to say, she just sat down again and hoped that Gibbs would come soon to tell her something. _Anything._ But to avoid silence she put on some music.

The music filled their ears, and soon the silence wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

><p>Gibbs had arrived back to the squad room only moments after he'd received the information about Abby's, as to speak, finding. He'd directly started to bark out orders, mostly orders they were already done doing; or done doing several times. The tapping of the keyboards were the only thing that was heard, and it would have been depressing, if not all of the team members would have been deep in working.<p>

After a moment, McGee's voice sounded out in the quiet Bull Pen. "Boss, I found something."

Gibbs was ready to give him an annoyed look, to tell him to spill it, that they weren't getting any younger; but McGee was faster and put his findings on the plasma. "Meet Errol Moore, twin brother to our victim."

On the plasma was the information on a man who was almost identical to Eric, and Tony and Ziva were both stunned about the similarity. They had the same face, except the eyes. That was the only thing on the face they didn't share. Same mouth, nose, ears. It was almost scary. "It shouldn't be legal to be so alike somebody else." Tony said, breaking the silence. "How did you find all of this information? I thought we only found his name, fingerprint and driver's license?"

"His file was stamped 'Secret' by the FBI. Apparently he's quite the lunatic."

"How could the Commander have a _twin_ brother that Emma did not know about?" Ziva asked and looked at the faces of the team, challenging them.

"Maybe she did know about him." Gibbs replied.

"But should not she have figured that out then and told us?" Ziva tried again.

"Maybe she just isn't so observant like you guys" Abby's voice rang out and everyone's head turned towards her. She stood alone without Emma next to her, but since Abby's lab is pretty safe, they weren't worried. "Maybe she was just so scared, that she didn't notice who he was. It wouldn't be the first time it happens, anyway."

"You're right," McGee said "I'm gonna try to find something in his file. Maybe in which prison he is in."

* * *

><p>Emma sat in the chair, waiting for Abby to come back. Actually she didn't wait for Abby to come back; she just waited for someone to come so the loneliness would disappear. Really, just anyone would do. Abby hadn't told her where she went; she had just said she would be right back, and left. Although Emma had gotten used to being alone, not to hear anything around herself, she was actually a bit uncomfortable right now. She had actually started getting used to having at least one adult close by, and to now be left alone frightened her a little.<p>

She tried to entertain herself while waiting for someone to come and destroy the solitude which now was wrapped around her like a cold blanket. She tried to shake the feeling off and concentrated on trying to put on some more music. The CD had run out of songs only a while after Abby left, and there was silence. Emma had discovered that Abby's stereo was much more complicated than any other one she had ever seen, or touched for that matter. But when she finally got on some music she heard something that most definitely wasn't some sound from the song. She paused the song.

"Abby? Is that you?" she asked into thin air. When she didn't get an answer she pressed the play button again and ignored the goose bumps that were on her back. She tried to get her mind totally into the music, she tried to actually understand the words that were sung, but it didn't make any sense to her.

Suddenly she heard the sound again. She paused the music again, and was just about to ask the same thing again when someone came from behind and put a hand over her mouth.

"Have you found him yet, McGee?" Gibbs asked impatiently. He shared the feeling with the other ones. McGee had been quiet for a moment already, and his fingers were still. They suspected that he had been reading something, but they all knew that Tim was a much faster reader than that. After a second, he said;

"Yeah. He was in the Washington State Penitentiary." McGee replied. Then he looked up from his computer screen and said, "He was there on Death Row. But he'd escaped."

"Well, can you trace him?" Tony said, impatient as ever.

"Well, I did."

"Awesome!" Abby said and went to stand behind McGee. But both their faces got that same expression that Emma had been possessing earlier that day; the unreadable expression. Neither of them wanted to be the one to tell Gibbs, but in the end Gibbs was the one to come behind McGee to see the location.

"He's in Abby's lab." Gibbs said, and both Tony and Ziva looked terrified. They didn't wait for Gibbs to tell them; they ran to the location in the matter of seconds. Gibbs and McGee weren't far behind, with Abby who was running as fast as she could.

They just wanted to make sure they were too late.


	10. Long way to happy

**Chapter 10: Long way to happy**

They ran. They ran so fast, and hard, that their feet every hurting. All of the guns were drawn, and they were prepared for anything.

When they were close enough to Abby's lab, they could hear a loud scream that definitely came from Emma and all five ran faster, even though they weren't really capable. Ziva held back her fears for Emma by running in front of everyone, so no one would see the look on her face, the terror for the one and only girl she probably ever would be consider as daughter.

"Let me go." Emma pleaded the man – who this time had covered his face – who was holding a tight grip on her shoulder. Emma cried because of the hurting she felt – she could feel a bruise form there -, and the fear that no one would come. This could be her end, and she hadn't even gotten to do everything she wanted to do, say everything she wanted to say.

She wanted to hug Jessica once more, and tell her that she could never have gotten a better friend than her. She wanted to tell her father that he was the best, even though he didn't give her much attention the last years. She wanted to travel the world, she wanted to see everything and know everything, and when though she knew that was impossible, it would be more possible if she was alive. But the one thing she wished mostly she could stay alive to say was; I love you.

She wanted to tell Jessica that, and Tony and Ziva. Ziva who had always been there for her and who hadn't given up on her even when it seemed like this was going to go on for forever. Ziva who had hugged her, given her comfort when she mostly needed it, and when she didn't need it. Ziva, who was her long lost mother.

And Tony, who had been the dad she always had needed. Tony had stayed up late with her and educated her about movies. He was the one who told her weird stories when she had been sad or just deadly bored, Tony who hadn't doubted her.

Emma closed her eyes and cried those two teardrops she had spared for Tony and Ziva, and she decided that now she was ready to die. She could face the darkness without really fearing what was waiting for her. The man slapped her face, but she didn't seem to feel the pain. It scared her so much; was she dead already? Was she watching herself from above? She wanted to laugh at herself, she was being pathetic, Tony and Ziva would find her, or at least Abby would, she had said that she would be right back.

Suddenly the lab door opened and she heard Ziva's voice scream, "Emma!"

Another shout was heard, and gruntings from the man with the mask. She suspected that they were knocking him to the round, or something. She heard a gun slide on the floor, and Tony yelling things. She tried to open her eyes, but she didn't dare to because she didn't know what she was going to expect.

She was dragged to the side, and soon she found herself lying on a more comfortable part of the floor. Abby was at her side, she had put her arm around Emma as to comfort her, before she tried to get her to stand up, "Emma c'mon, stand up. Are you hurt? Please don't be hurt…"

Abby didn't get a reply, because the sound of screams and punches scared Emma. Angry voices filled her ears, and she still didn't dare to open her eyes. Instead, she squeezed them shut. No tears showed, and that she was grateful for, she decided to try to get up, so she could get away from there "I… I'll try."

Abby took a tight grip of her arm and helped her up. Emma whined in pain, but when she was standing she had never felt better. Her foot didn't hurt – as long as she didn't stand on it -, and she was totally fine. She even opened her eyes when the noises she had feared ended.

In front of her, a man was lying on the floor. A man who was too much like her dad. He was being held down by McGee and Tony while Ziva looked like she was making a hard decision either she would kill the man right then and there, or wait. Gibbs was just standing still, but gave them a sign to come with him. McGee and Tony made sure the man was as good as paralyzed before they pulled him up, which wasn't a very gentle act.

Ziva moved herself to Emma. She looked at the younger one for a few seconds before she asked "Are you okay?"

"Yes." Emma replied, and she didn't lie. She wanted to scream of joy, because this was probably the first time she had said that and she hadn't lied under these weeks. Instead she just smiled and hugged Ziva tightly. Ziva just hugged her back and smiled so big. Then out of the blue, Emma said, "I promise I won't be so annoying anymore."

* * *

><p>Errol Moore sat in interrogation, chained to his chair he sat and screamed. He was still alone in the small quite dark room, but he screamed at Gibbs, McGee and Tony who were on the other side of the glass. Tony could be considered begging to get to interrogate Errol, and Gibbs had almost let him. But when he saw the way Tony stared at him - disgust, hate, fury – he decided that it probably was the best if he did it himself.<p>

For safety purposes, Ziva wasn't there at all. She was with Emma in autopsy, because even though Emma had insisted that she was fine, she wanted to be sure so she, Abby and Ziva had went down to Ducky. Ziva had herself said that she didn't want to be there under the interrogation, she figured it probably would feel better to say it herself than hear it from Gibbs; she didn't have much self-control when it came to this man. Gibbs had agreed.

Gibbs went into interrogation and sat down on the opposite chair from Errol. He had a folder with him, which he placed on the table without opening it.

Nick wasn't screaming anymore, he was being quiet. He stared at Gibbs with a small smile on his lips, which made Tony from the other side of the glass, wanting to kill him even more. He was even considering destroying the class and go that way, it would go faster and the glass splitter hopefully would make the bastard blind. The only thing that stopped him was the fact that Gibbs was closer to the glass and would probably be more hurt by the splitter, so Tony didn't move.

"Who are you?" Gibbs started, staring at Errol with his famous Gibbs-stare.

"You already know that." He replied.

"Did you kill Commander Eric Moore, your brother?"

"No. I didn't."

"Then why have you been torturing his daughter!" Gibbs asked, raising his voice.

"I was asked to." Errol answered, still calm.

"Why did you torture your niece?" Gibbs asked. "What made you hurt your own family member?"

"I didn't want too, y'know. But there was this… guy who told me that if I didn't do as he said I'd die." Errol replied. His eyes still staring at Gibbs. He was shaking slightly, and his eyes were bloodshot. He looked completely crazy.

"Tell me more." Gibbs said, and started placing out pictures in front of Nick. Every picture was of the smiling Emma. The Emma who hadn't had any responsibility, the Emma who was carefree and happy.

Nick squirmed in his chair, which was hard because of the handcuffs. The pictures of Emma disturbed him "C-can you please move those pictures?" He asked, but when Gibbs didn't say anything, or move, he knew he wasn't getting out of this. He felt like it was time for a confession. "He LEFT ME. When… when that SON of a… he WALKED away and," Errol breathed heavily; he was shaking harder from being upset. "a-and he told me, he told me to… never CALL HIM again. EVER."

"Why would he tell you that?"

"But the guy, Agent Gibbs. Yeah, he-he told me that… that was NO WAY to be treated, AND it SAID THAT my br-brother was JUST UPSET."

Gibbs had a second of confusion when Errol referred to the guy as 'it'. But he kept listening.

"So I… I went home TO 'im, and THERE HE was, y'know! Acting STUPID and I-I-I…" Errol was sniffling and shaking hard. "I KILLED 'IM!"

"And bound him to the chair?" Gibbs felt like going easy on Errol, so he didn't raise his voice anymore.

"Yea. The-the guy told me TO DO IT."

"And then you went after his daughter; your niece?"

Errol nodded in shame, looking at the table. "She had pretty eyes, the girl. But the guy TOLD ME TO DO that TOO, so-so-so I DID IT, 'cause if I DIDN'T then he'd get plenty MAD."

Gibbs looked at the broken man in front of him. Then he said, "How did you get out of the prison?"

"The GUY told me how to… he told me to… knock THE GUARD unconscious and…"

Gibbs wasn't sure he wanted him to continue. So he interrupted and said, "Did your brother know that you're a schizophrenic?" Errol nodded his head in response, and he started to sob, and yell out that he was sorry. Gibbs stood up and left, because they had the guilty man. He met Tony outside the interrogation room, and Tony directly stated;

"The drugs had nothing to do with this."

"Nah. He was just a drug addict."

"Do you know why he was in jail in the first place?"

Gibbs nodded. "He killed fourteen people."

"Wouldn't we know about it? It sounds pretty serious."

"Nah. The FBI shushed it. No idea why, though."

They were in silence for a moment. "Should I arrest him, Boss?"

"Call the mental hospital and tell them to come and get him. _Not_ the prison, he shouldn't be there in the first place."

Tony nodded, and Gibbs left. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and did as he was told, because he just wanted the man to go away. While he talked to the woman on the other line, he walked towards Autopsy, because he wanted to see his family.


	11. It's the only one you've got

**Chapter 11: It's the only one you've got**

Emma was in her room, collecting her stuff and dumped it all on the bed. She knew that her time in this apartment was over, the case was closed. She was going into Social Services. She had some tears in her eyes while she threw her clothes on the bed in ager. She didn't want to leave; she didn't want to find herself in a foster family. But she wasn't going to ask Ziva to adopt her, if it was going to happen, Tony and Ziva had to be the ones who asked her. She just didn't seem to understand that.

She was happy that the danger was over; she was going to be fine. She would be a normal teenager in just a few weeks. But she also knew that it wasn't going to happen if she was in foster care. She wouldn't be normal then. She would be the foster kid, the girl without a family. Everyone would look at her and laugh, she lost her dad, and she's pathetic. And every time she thought about that, she had to stop for a while and force back the tears. It had worked so far. She had promised herself to never cry again, because whatever she cried over, it wasn't worth it.

She suspected that Keith would take her to Sweden, but then again; he was working a lot, he wouldn't be able to take care of her there, and the hope of that solution was vanished as soon as it had been created.

She was throwing her things on the bed because she didn't have a suitcase yet, and she hadn't dared to go and ask for one yet either. It would hurt too much to just pack all her things in a suitcase, close it and look back at her room, then leave. She wasn't ready for that yet, and she wasn't sure she would be able to do it either. She had been thinking about hiding under the bed, or maybe under the covers in the bed since her foot was hurt and it wouldn't be too wonderful to crawl around on the floor, but then again her bed was covered with her things and she was unable to get under the covers without making every little thing she owned fall onto the floor. She could remember very clearly when Gibbs had told her that she wasn't staying any longer than necessary. That was one of the memories she really just wanted to forget, but she wasn't going to.

_"You can stay with Ziva. She offered. But only until this case is over, they we'll see what we can do."_

She reached the photos on the drawer, now it was their turn to be thrown on the bed by her in fury. But she didn't, instead she stopped and looked at them. She looked in the eyes of her father. She hated him. She had hated him constantly since her twelfth birthday; it was now she realized it. She grabbed the picture and threw it in the wall. She had been thinking about scream something to make it all a little more dramatic, but she didn't. The loud crash was enough for her hate to ease a little. Not much but enough.

Tony hurried into her room. The crash made him a little scared; was Emma freaking out or something. When he opened her door he found her sitting by the bed, her back against it and her arms around her knee, which her healthy foot was connected to, and holding it against her chest. Her bad foot was lying straightly on the floor. He was chocked about the mess in her room, her clothes all over the place. The picture of her father, lying beside the wall, with the glass crushed and splitter around it. He sat down beside her on her left side, without her looking up. She kept staring at the floor on her right side. It was silence, until Tony broke it and asked, "Why did you destroy your father's picture?"

"I hate him. It felt like I had to." She said simply, not really looking up.

"No, you don't hate him." Tony tried. He was considering putting his arm around her, but he didn't, he just looked at the side of her face and waited for her to look back at him. She didn't.

"I just… I do."

Tony decided not to argue with her; instead he asked "Why is your room so messy? You never have a messy room."

"I do have a messy room. Usually." Emma replied.

"You're ignoring my question." Tony said.

"I haven't got a suitcase."

Tony sighed. He knew it was upcoming; the suitcase. Neither he nor Ziva wanted this. They wanted Emma to stay, but Ziva hadn't asked her the question yet. If Emma wanted to. Tony smiled at the thought that she did want to stay with them, because they were a family; the best kind. So, he put his arm around the girl beside him, like a dad would. She was tense at first, but after a few seconds she relaxed in his arms. Like a daughter.

They sat in silence for a while, before Tony stood up "Let's go." He offered her his hand.

"Where?" Emma asked, and grabbed his hand and allowed him to help her up.

"To the kitchen."

"Why?"

"You'll see."


End file.
